Letting go of the sadness....

LONGING…
I long for his attention and his love and everything he can give me. People tell me that there's nothing he can do for me that I can't do for myself, but that's not true. I can't do anything for myself. He is my world and my world is him... and without him, there is no world. My life feels like it is over. I want this to be over. I love him still. Even though I shouldn't and it is wrong, I don't care. I am in love and I cannot let go of him. I cannot let go of the past. I dread my now and long to live back in the past, where we loved eachother. Now it's just one-sided love, because he doesn't love me. I wish he did.

I wish we can get together again.

But because of the pain we've caused each other...

He's scared I will hurt him again...

Even though I won't…

And he has caused me more pain that I ever have caused him…

And besides, it is impossible for anyone to ever put him through more pain than he has put me through…

He’s hurt me too much…

It’s a battle between us…

And I surrender, because I hate these feelings…

I’m sorry…

But he’s not.

AFRAID…
I’m afraid I will never get better. I am afraid I will be stuck with this pain forever.

And forever is a long time.

Forever…

Forever….

Forever…..

Forever……

Forever…….

Forever……..

Forever………

Forever……….