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Post by brooklynberry on Mar 25, 2009 5:30:24 GMT -8
I have really cut off ties with my PoA, but occasionally I will inadvertantly get a trigger - ie seeing a friend post something about his website on facebook today.
Really just set me off. I don't get it. I RATIONALLY understand that he is so very wrong for me, that he was abusive, etc. But I still freak out.
I am working the steps, going to SLAA meetings, taking meds, going to therapy, working out, going to meditation class, back in school...what more do I need to do?
I know I am really bothered that he got a girlfriend so quickly but I have to assume he will run the same pattern with her. But again, no connection between logic and emotions...I know I can't control this. I know I can't do anything about it but accept it for what it is. I haven't acted out, I won't act out. I won't check the website, etc.
this is really hard!
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Post by feejruin on Mar 27, 2009 12:09:04 GMT -8
i feel your pain. facebook is the dtoxic!!!
lets not act out. i'm with you in the struggle.
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Post by dawnbelieves on Mar 29, 2009 15:20:24 GMT -8
I know it is hard. I used to check my poa's myspace page all the time and his freinds pages also. Try to stay out of face book or at least away from pages that you think may have him on it. Block anything that may be a trigger. Facebook and myspace can be quite hard to deal with when trying to overcome an addiction such as this. Be blessed, ~Dawn~
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Post by reinventmyself on May 19, 2009 21:00:20 GMT -8
Brooklyn,
I could have written your post! The ex with a new gf within 3 wks of our breakup. I found out on facebook. I've looked 4 times. Now it's part of my NC pledge. I spiral into dispair and anxiety and it takes me days to climb out. I ended the relationship knowing full well that his disease is far worse that mine. I believe he's borderline. I took into consideration that he wouldn't be alone for a minute. It still caused me to hit the wall. So to those who posted prior to this. .NC to pledge to not check up on them on facebook, myspace or otherwise!!!
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Post by Music2MyEars on May 20, 2009 14:28:17 GMT -8
Brooklyn,
I checked my ex's ex-girlfriend Facebook page and I felt horrible! I have been obsessing about her and him and feeling inadequate. I've only looked once but the urge is there. I keep telling myself that she is not better than me and we are all on the same spiritual plane. It's hard because my POA can' t seem to be alone either , but I know I have to back off and deal with ME. We have to let their problems be just that, their problems! Hang in there and keep posting, it will help you alot.
- STAY OFF OF FACEBOOK AND BLACK PLANET....you will feel much better in the long run.
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Post by Music2MyEars on May 20, 2009 14:28:51 GMT -8
I didn't mean to put blackplanet... that was meant for me. I meant to put MYSPACE. Sorry for the error.
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Post by estrela5 on May 20, 2009 16:19:02 GMT -8
hi all! well brooklin! stay away from fb please! guess what ? i only had the courage to look my ex fb last week after 9 months of break up! its saying there he is in a relationship with ...! it hurted like h*** for one minute and then was gone! i looked last week 4 times and that was enough ! no more looking at his pics anymore withher. it doesnt matter anymore. i dont have even our friiends in common in my fb just to not see any news from his fb! he requested me add , and of course i know even accepting just to show im fine with how life is now , i know deep inside i will obsess! im fine away from him not giving him any information about how my life is now or what im doing or where i am! he can keep his gf as long as both are away from me! lol
so do the same! accept he has someone new but dont t obsess about them! its acceptance!
but DONT LOOK ON HIS FB or on his friends fb!!!!
you are just hurting yourself doing that!
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Post by Susan Peabody on May 20, 2009 17:38:33 GMT -8
What is fb?
 Oh . . . is it facebook . . .
I am getting to old for this . . .
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dearprudence
New Member
The sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you.
Posts: 35
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Post by dearprudence on May 20, 2009 18:11:41 GMT -8
I have really cut off ties with my PoA, but occasionally I will inadvertantly get a trigger - ie seeing a friend post something about his website on facebook today. Really just set me off. I don't get it. I RATIONALLY understand that he is so very wrong for me, that he was abusive, etc. But I still freak out. I am working the steps, going to SLAA meetings, taking meds, going to therapy, working out, going to meditation class, back in school...what more do I need to do? I know I am really bothered that he got a girlfriend so quickly but I have to assume he will run the same pattern with her. But again, no connection between logic and emotions...I know I can't control this. I know I can't do anything about it but accept it for what it is. I haven't acted out, I won't act out. I won't check the website, etc. this is really hard! I feel the same with my POA. I had to stop looking at my friend's facebook just to look at anything he's done over the past week on the website...or just to see his profile picture! I was successful at stopping that. Also, I had already blocked him and deleted him a long time ago. That's why I had gone to my friend's facebook to go look at his profile pic! Haha!  Even after I blocked him AND deleted him, I do these fun quizzes on facebook and he appears in random advertisements for facebook applications like IQ Quiz or something naive! VERY CREEPY! I think that was one reason of me getting back to my LA cycle... Anyways, YES! Stay away from those websites and/or delete him from those websites. Though, I suggest staying away from them completely unless you use those websites to contact your friends daily, etc. because you will have urges like me to look at your friends' pages and find his profile through them.  I am also desperately curious now about my POA and if he's seeing anyone now, but maybe for the best I shouldn't know. I'd be too hurt, then again it'd be good for me because then I have more of a reason to get over him. I also feel the same with POA, that he will make the same mistakes he did with me and other girls. Although, we never actually dated. He did like me once he said, and I hold onto that thought so much. It's a bad habit. He also flirted a lot with me, and made me actually think he loved me. Don't ever fall for guys like that, but they're so charming.  |
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Oh . . . is it facebook . . .
