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Post by euphony11 on Jun 4, 2011 6:26:28 GMT -8
Good morning all. I wanted to share something with you from my Griefshare.org emails I receive daily. Hope it proves helpful:
If you want to heal from grief, you must go through it; you cannot go around it. The grieving process is a healing process. Do not look at healing as a goal you can only attain at the end of the process. Each step you take is part of your healing.
"Grief is a process that is better thought of as a journey," observes Dr. Tim Clinton. "It's just one foot in front of the other. It may seem that others have grieved very quickly, but those who have come through the process too fast have undone business in their lives."
Take a moment to try and identify where you are on your grief journey. If you have admitted you are grieving, then your journey has begun.
Rest assured that the God of all time, the First and the Last, the omniscient and omnipotent God, will be with you every step of the way, and He has already placed your healing in His plan.
-D
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Post by euphony11 on Jun 6, 2011 4:51:34 GMT -8
Melodyrose,
You are welcome. Admitting to yourself you are still in grief is a moment of honesty and self-truth. It means you are growing in your relationship with yourself. Often, people around us as well as other negative environmental messages will tell us to get over it, mainly because others feel uncomfortable with their own pain and can't handle it.
Recovery is a journey not a destination. Grieving is a part of it. In LA, we can sometimes make the mistake of losing sight of the min-milestones e achieve along the Marathon of the journey, not realizing each mile marker is an accomplishment. Think of us on this board as supporters at those mile markers with water and healthy refreshment to help you to the next mile marker.
BTW, here is the latest from greifshare.org. It is very timely:
Don't Rush MeDay 22
Sometimes other people try to help you get out of your grief by offering advice or "constructive criticism." They may admonish you to "get over it" or to "get back into life." These comments can hurt.
Remember, you have an insight into the grieving process that these people do not have. You know that the length of the grieving process is different for each person. You know you have to let the grieving process take place, because if you try to rush it, you will only prolong the healing.
"So many people will say: 'Well, it's been six months. Don't you think you should be over it by now?' But for each person it's different, and to say those things is very hurtful because maybe that person isn't ready," says Emy, a widow.
You cannot rely on other people to say the right words and provide the right comfort, but you can rely on God.
Job's "friends" condemned him and did not understand his grief. "Then Job replied: 'I have heard many things like these; miserable comforters are you all!'" (Job 16:1-2).
Father God, I know that my friends and family mean well, but they just don't understand that I am not there yet. Help me to know when I am. Holy Spirit, You are my Comforter. In You alone will I find refuge. Amen.
Have a great day.
-D
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Post by newbie on Jun 6, 2011 12:47:18 GMT -8
This is an amazing site, so happy to belong here.
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Post by nvr2late on Jun 9, 2011 16:51:59 GMT -8
Excellent post. I truly believe my soon to be ex husband's major issues stem from failure to grieve a horrible tragedy in which he lost his son and wife. All he did was replace them with me as soon as he possibly could and went on as if nothing had happened.
Need I say, we both paid a huge price for his inability to face his loss, feelings and grief in any semblance of a healthy way.
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Post by runrunrun on Jun 9, 2011 19:18:02 GMT -8
Some of this stuff is so sad to read. But true and necessary.
Thanks for posting this Euphony.
I am just now grieving the relationship I left 2 months ago. I went from anger to almost ambivalence. It seems anger is one of the few feelings I have. And I have if daily.
Maybe once I have grieved the loss of it and the hurts involved with it then I will be free to get over it.
I had always suspected him of cheating during the relationship. Then I read an article on MSN that explains all the many forms of cheating (just today). And my bf at the time was guilty of many of them. I often doubted myself when I accused him of cheating because he stopped just short of having sex with other women. But all the other things he did with them I can now classify as cheating.
I wish I could just forget him. But I cant. I have to grieve this. Thanks
RRR
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Post by dorkestbeforedawn on Jun 9, 2011 19:28:13 GMT -8
Yeah, the other kinds of cheating also hurt so much! And if you forget him, you also forget his lessons.
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Post by melsoul on Jun 9, 2011 19:30:36 GMT -8
By the way, euphony, speaking of grief--I took your suggestion to work through the Grief Recovery Workbook. I ordered it yesterday. Thanks.
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