Post by magickwomun on Oct 23, 2012 14:07:32 GMT -8
In March I filed a harassment charge against my ex poa/narc with district court. I also filed for a restraining order in family court. After that he began hoovering, and I gave in. I didn't show up for court on the harassment case, at his request. I requested the restraining order be dismissed, both judges denied my requests (there have been numerous court dates) also at his request.
During our next court appearance date in family court (on the restraining order), we were trying to get back together and work things out. For some reason our names were not on the docket. I asked the court clerk what that meant and she said they would be rescheduling us. He asked "what happens if neither of us show up"? She said "It will probably be dismissed". He said, "Good, lets go" and we left, thinking it would be dismissed.
The last time he had a court date in district court for the harassment charge, I sent him a text and an email and broke up with him. I didn't ask him what had happened at court, nor did he tell me. I assumed it had been dismissed.
This weekend i received notice that our restraining order case in family court has been rescheduled for Dec. and today the district atty called me to tell me that the harassment case is set for a bench trial tomorrow afternoon.
I'm nervous. I don't want to see him tomorrow, in Dec. or ever again. I had to cancel my therapy appt tomorrow for this. I know he's going to tell the judge I've harassed him too, which I admit I have, but I don't think it counts if he didn't report it and to my knowledge he didn't, considering he has contacted me since then.
I have no idea what to expect from him tomorrow or from the court. I'm afraid seeing him may trigger a relapse. He might stoop low enough to show up with another woman, though I doubt that. He might try to hoover me int he court room lobby again. He might blow the whistle that i too have harassed him. the judge might dismiss it. the judge might give him time (up to 1 year), the judge might put him on probation or order him to attend domestic violence classes, or the judge may find him innocent. I'm afraid I'm going to do or say something I will later regret and further humiliate myself.
I'm thinking about just not going, but then he will probably walk free and think it's ok to harass me in the future. I wonder if it's not my addiction wanting me to go, just to see him, just to get a whif of drama. So many contradicting thoughts right now...
Feedback?
During our next court appearance date in family court (on the restraining order), we were trying to get back together and work things out. For some reason our names were not on the docket. I asked the court clerk what that meant and she said they would be rescheduling us. He asked "what happens if neither of us show up"? She said "It will probably be dismissed". He said, "Good, lets go" and we left, thinking it would be dismissed.
The last time he had a court date in district court for the harassment charge, I sent him a text and an email and broke up with him. I didn't ask him what had happened at court, nor did he tell me. I assumed it had been dismissed.
This weekend i received notice that our restraining order case in family court has been rescheduled for Dec. and today the district atty called me to tell me that the harassment case is set for a bench trial tomorrow afternoon.
I'm nervous. I don't want to see him tomorrow, in Dec. or ever again. I had to cancel my therapy appt tomorrow for this. I know he's going to tell the judge I've harassed him too, which I admit I have, but I don't think it counts if he didn't report it and to my knowledge he didn't, considering he has contacted me since then.
I have no idea what to expect from him tomorrow or from the court. I'm afraid seeing him may trigger a relapse. He might stoop low enough to show up with another woman, though I doubt that. He might try to hoover me int he court room lobby again. He might blow the whistle that i too have harassed him. the judge might dismiss it. the judge might give him time (up to 1 year), the judge might put him on probation or order him to attend domestic violence classes, or the judge may find him innocent. I'm afraid I'm going to do or say something I will later regret and further humiliate myself.
I'm thinking about just not going, but then he will probably walk free and think it's ok to harass me in the future. I wonder if it's not my addiction wanting me to go, just to see him, just to get a whif of drama. So many contradicting thoughts right now...
Feedback?
