hopefulinnj
Junior Member
Newcomer Greeter Step Group
Posts: 71
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Post by hopefulinnj on Jan 28, 2008 9:14:32 GMT -8
Okay, so I need to let out my feelings.
I have to go to work today and see coworker! Its like when I'm at home and away from coworker, I function fine, I'm not worried or anxious, I'm just doing my thing to keep busy, tending to my husband and daughter, reading the stories on this website. Doing housework, working out. Just not even thinking twice about coworker.
But the minute I know I have to go to work and see him, I start getting these panic attacks and my heart starts racing and I feel so sick like a million butterflies in my stomach!
I just want to get over coworker, but I don't know how to stop this anxiety about seeing him. Because I know that once I see him, all sense goes out the window.
I can't quit my job, cause I love it, and besides the fact that if I leave the job, this could very well happen with someone else, its not coworker necessarily, its just about anyone who "tickles my fancy" and gives me the attention I'm lacking.
I just need to get over both this addiction and coworker, b/c if I don't kick the addiction, the pattern will just repeat itself with someone else!
argh!! its so frustrating!!!
anyway, thanks for listening!
sincerely,
hopefulinnj
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Post by amiramaile on Jan 28, 2008 15:48:38 GMT -8
Have you thought about seeing your doctor and getting a prescription for anti-anxiety medication? It may help short term until the worst is over. I understand how you feel, because I felt a great deal of anxiety too when I knew I would be seeing him. Fortunately I do not work with him, but I drive by his work place everyday on my way to work. Sometimes the temptation to stop and see him is so strong.
Also try deep breathing when the anxiety strikes. Meditaion helps too.
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Post by Susan Peabody on Jan 28, 2008 16:44:37 GMT -8
When you can't avoid someone it makes it harder. I had to leave a job once to get over someone, and recently I left my therapist. When you find someone new that will help. Meanwhile you are kind of stuck. Have you read, How to Fall Out of Love. It is about aversion therapy. My heart goes out to you. |
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Post by Rainbows Always on Jan 29, 2008 6:00:47 GMT -8
My heart goes out to you too. My ex lived on the other side of the country to me . I think i would have gone mad if I had to see him every day. I dont think I would have gotten over him. I had no contact for about 4 mths and I am now out of withdrawals. It's so nice. can you take leave, while you do therapy at the same time?  ?? |
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Post by fairydust on Feb 2, 2008 3:30:45 GMT -8
Isn't what is happening just sexual attraction? A need crying out to be met? When I was in my late teens, I used to freak out when I felt sexual attraction too. I'd been brought up strict Catholic and just these feelings, let alone any impure thoughts, were enough to send me to Hell, so I thought. If the need is filled, these feelings don't happen.
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Post by jonny on Mar 3, 2008 11:24:20 GMT -8
Yes the anxiety is very painfle i had pains in my chest but mine was made worse because i was involved with a S/W....who did not resipricate my feelings but carried on meeting me then fighting me off then coming to me the uncertanty was a nightmare but as hard as it was and i did not want to do it everybody told me i had to stay away from her ..
And i truly now belive its the only way to recover from them....
I had not seen her for over 4 months but i saw her last Saturday and as i drove passed her and waved the anxiety and the uncertanty came flooding back lucky i got it under control in the day but it made me realise even more how i must stay away from her to fully recover !!!
so be very carefle other wise it will just eat away at you and even make you ill if you dont get it under control or try to stay away from him as much as you can but you really need to stay away competely other wise you are just feeding your addiction and you will be fighting a hard battle.
jonny xxx
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Post by debi854 on Mar 3, 2008 14:47:44 GMT -8
IHAve the same problem, only mine lives in my apartment complex. Everyday when I leasve work, as I get closer to home, the anxiety starts. The stomach butterflies arev the worst. Then its the anxiety of will he call? he knows I'm home, and i'm on anxiety meds. I hoping time will help. If I get home and he doesn't call for a few days, it sometimes helps. I don't know how to get away from my anxiety.
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Post by jonny on Mar 3, 2008 15:14:49 GMT -8
All you can do is stay away from him unless he cares for you just as much as you care for him and he should show it if not you must stay away from him as much as you can...unless you are an item otherewise why would you get anxiety unless you have a fear of rejection or uncirtanty of his resiprecation to you .
jonny xxx
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Post by debi854 on Mar 4, 2008 10:41:50 GMT -8
I am trying to stay away from him. The fantasy is that he cares for me. But I think this is only in my mine. When he calls, and I answer, he can talk me into anything. Thats why I get anxiety. I'm afraid he'll call and I won't be able to resist. I'm a Love Addict and he's a Sex Addict. Now I realize his sexual attention is feeding my addiction everytime I'm with him. This is the greatest site. I've learned so much in the past 2 days. Now I think the anxiety is brought on by the fear oh saying Okay!! to him.
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