Is it normal to feel angry?

Yes, it is. Feeling angry is a normal part of the healing process. If I try to get rid of anger I can see that eventually it comes back. It's better to look at it like you are doing. Byron Katie worksheets can also be very helpful.

Greystorm,

That's what I am working on...forgiving myself. Accept what happened, why it happened, and learn from it. I am determined to do this because I have to live with myself and want the experience to be enjoyable . I like what you stated about not being able to prevent the POA from using us. What else was I going to do at the time? I was more excited about him wanting to be with me than what the red flags were telling me. Now that I am more aware of the symptoms of love addiction, I can see when I am falling into the trap and stop myself or at least force myself to see reality. I am learning to question my emotions and what my heart is feeling and why. Imagine the time when we just went with the flow of our addiction and wondered why we were feeling pain?

everchanging,

I understand your anger and believing that he does not have to be accountable for anything he does. I thought the same way. But now I look at it differently. He will be accountable for what he does (just like all of us) but it will not be my business. The why, how, and when he will be accountable has nothing to do with me. Thank God he can no longer hurt you because he is not with you. Now that they are out of our lives, we have to work on stop hurting ourselves.

I edited my post, Jacarandagirl. Thanks.

Everchanging, it is normal to be angry at first..but if your poa is no longer contacting you and you are looking at his fb page and things like this you are causing your own anger now.

We have to learn to forgive ourselves for allowing others to treat us badly, we set our recovery goals, and we heal our pain in a healthy way now.

Pain is inevitable, Suffering is opitional..

What are your recovery goals?

You can block him or unfriend him on fb and this might help also. You are still giving your power away too your poa by continuing to hold on too the anger.

You dont need to keep doing this to yourself..allow yourself to heal and find some hobbies you like too do and start building a life for yourself.

This is a process and it does not just go away but we have too keep moving forward through this process until we reach our goal.

I finally one week ago, got strong enough and just really did not want too hear anymore lies from my poa and I changed my cellphone number after 4 years, I just did not want him anymore. But it is a process.

You just get tired of being angry, love yourself and start living your life. Dont worry sbout what your poa is doing. He probably is not doing as well as you think he is.

Look at your inner child and comfort her now and let her know you will protect her, deal with the rejection and feelings surrounding this..and see if you can get a little relief. Talking about this will also help with the anger as well

Our expectations cause us too be angry too. Maybe we expect too much from people and people will always let us down..we are human.

Glad you are back on the forum.

Today I am angry. I am angry at myself. I am angry because I let me POA hurt me. I am angry because he treated me bad from the beginning and I stayed. I am angry because I knew he was married and I continued anyways. I am angry because I believed him and trusted him and loved him more than I loved myself. I am angry because I still love him. I am angry that he is happy. I am angry because I lost so much being involved with hum. I am angry.

From Susan . . . Check out Susan Anderson's book about Abandonment. Look for the section on rage and the Outer Child

It is never too late to change and turn our anger into a self-inventory and/or redirection. I can still 'feel' angry but I do not have to get consumed by it or act on it and lose my peace. What I can do instead is to find good things about life and the universe; redirect my energy to build my strengths and engage in a more productive activity.