I somehow find comfort in sadness and in grief

We also get addicted to pain, and drama, if this is the only way we have ever lived. I said this also when I first got sober, I did not know there way any other way to live. And my first few years being sober I would create a little drama, but now not so much. I have shifted now, from pain and suffering, to peace and serenity, this is not to say live is effortless and painless, I just now have a new outlet in which I can express myself and I don't stay in the pain and suffering long now.

Why do you think you like being in this dark place?

You can always use this also as a way to be creative, you can become an addiction counselor, and there is plenty of healthy drama there, you could find a healthy debate class to get involved with, and this is a way to express healthy drama. And these healthy activities would not leave you in a dark place.

If you keep telling yourself nothing will ever change, then nothing will ever change, because change is probably what scares you the most.

I can tell you from where I sit, and being in recovery for almost 5 years, there is nothing boring or dull about helping others, and there is a huge need out in society for the suffering.