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Post by Susan Peabody on Feb 24, 2014 17:19:51 GMT -8
Dreams Do Come True
By Susan Peabody
This blog is a stream of consciousness or what they call in the self-help world, "hot penning."
The Trip
February 24, 2014
"The Trip" stands for" "My Wonderful Adventure in Switzerland: Longstanding Dream Come True," by Susan Peabody, a day dreamer of long standing starting in 1958 in my cozy bedroom where all the bullies and crazy people could not hurt me. I have been keeping journals since the sixth grade. Today, I guess you would call this a blog. (Would someone please tell me where that word comes from and what it really means. So far I figured out that it is an internet journal.) About ten years ago, I was cleaning out some old boxes and found my first "diary." That is what you called it back then. While reading it, I did not know whether to laugh or cry. Mostly, I just wanted to burn it. I had actually carved a hole in an old book to hide it. I learned this from the movies. I have always been kind of melodramatic and the movies influenced me is all kinds of ways that haunt me to this day. In my book Addiction to Love (now referred to as my "first book," I discussed this as "Contributing Factors to Love Addiction" which meant love songs, romantic books, and heartbreaking movies like Splendor in the Grass (my first view of love addiction which I, of course, romanticized. Don't all women have a nervous breakdown when they are separated from the object of their desire, and to into an sanatorium to get over it?) I digress . . . The last blog I kept began the day my daughter died. It saved my sanity to write each day about how I was getting along. I got the idea from the book Grief Observed, by C.S. Lewis. I hope someone else benefitted from taking pen to paper (fingers to keyboard). I know I did. |
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Post by LovelyJune on Feb 25, 2014 3:22:18 GMT -8
I'm very excited for you and for this adventure you're about to go on! XO
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Post by CodepNomore on Feb 25, 2014 7:37:09 GMT -8
That sounds an enjoyable learning experience. I am looking forward to your sharing.
I hope people would keep exploring new possibilities. Life is beautiful! You got to love it.
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Post by Susan Peabody on Feb 25, 2014 14:23:32 GMT -8
February 25, 2014
When you are having a difficult childhood, you look for some kind of coping mechanism. Mine was reading. Every Saturday at 10:00 a.m., I walked to the public library, hung out with the librarian, and took home several books. Many of them influenced how I thought and felt about life. In other words, I was reading at the same time I was formulating my values.
My favorite book was Heidi. It was a children’s story about a young girl who helped another child to overcome his fear of walking and rise up out of his wheelchair, to the amazement of everyone who looked on. This book moved me, and I internalized the message. We need help to reach our full potential, whether the help be worldly or spiritual and we need to help others.
If you are one of the lucky ones and have experienced miracles, grace, or one of the myriad ways God works in our lives, you will now understand why I am writing a soulful book about my trip to Switzerland. There is no doubt in my mind that this trip was arranged by God in 1958 and has now manifested itself as one of those wonderful, synchronistic events that help us feel God’s presence in our life's journey. [/font]
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Post by Susan Peabody on Feb 25, 2014 14:57:22 GMT -8
February 26, 2014
This chapter in the story of “The Trip” began sometime in January, 2014. Please note that this is the new year which means new beginnings.
Not only was a new year starting, I happened to be looking for a new beginning because I was still grieving the loss of my mother, sister, partner and daughter. Knowing how God works in my life, I was looking for my silver lining. It always comes. The window always opens when the door closes. Or in this case, another door. (Don’t you love little affirmations like this? I do.)
Back to my point. In January 2014, I got a one-line email from a young man who admired my work. And so it began . . . the story of Heidi, which had given birth to my career as a wounded healer, came back into my life in the form of a young admirer who just happened to live in Switzerland.
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Post by Loving My Life on Feb 25, 2014 16:08:33 GMT -8
I am so glad you are doing this, I look forward to reading this.
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Post by Susan Peabody on Feb 26, 2014 16:03:52 GMT -8
February 27, 2014
As I was saying yesterday, I got a really nice email from one of my readers. His name was Andre, and he told me he was 49. After he got my reply, Andre told me that he wanted to fly to America to work with me. I was astonished, but agreed.
Halfway through making plans, I mentioned that I envied his lifestyle because I had never traveled. A few emails later he sent me a proposition. "How would you like to come work with me in Switzerland?" I was surprised and said no. There were lots of reasons, fear, professional boundaries, etc.
Despite my reservations, I agreed to think about it and during that time I talked to my friends, both personal and professional. In the end,I agreed to go to Switzerland to counsel Andre about love addiction and try to improve his chances for finding a healthy relationship after years of being addicted to one woman after another.
A flurry of emails ended up with a round-trip ticket to Switzerland, a work schedule, conference room, hotel accommodations and plenty of time left over to see the countryside.
That was three months ago. We have emailed each other almost every day since then, as I wanted to see if we were compatible as teacher and student. I leave on Sunday at 3:00 in the afternoon. Nervous does not really cover it.
My biggest challenge is professional boundaries. Where does our work leave off and our adventure in Switzerland begin? In discussing this with others, I have gotten a myriad of different opinions.
I am just going to follow the lead of my spiritual guide. I know he wants me to see the Alps where Heidi lived, but I still have to be on my best behavior.
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Post by Loving My Life on Feb 26, 2014 19:38:15 GMT -8
Wow, this is wonderful Susan...I cant wait to hear all about this adventure. Take plenty of pictures.. |
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Post by Susan Peabody on Feb 27, 2014 9:36:19 GMT -8
February 28, 2014
I learned early that planning an event is just as exciting as the event itself. Perhaps this is because I am a daydreamer.
Once I got my travel information, I took a look in my closet. There, over in the corner, lay three suitcases. They were new, with the price tags still attached, but they had never been used. Fifteen years ago, I had seen them on sale and bought them hoping that someday I would get to us them. My intuition had been correct.
Andre said I would need a warm coat, and I mentioned this to my son. Out of nowhere he showed up with a beautiful, chocolate-covered, suede coat with a fur color. And gloves to match. I felt like a queen.
I started packing really early, except for the clothes that I did not want to get wrinkled. Every day I would add this or that and suitcase laying on my couch.
I also continued to work with Andre so we could get to know each other. He turned out to be a good student. By this I mean he did the work--that is he did everything I suggested with good results. So his confidence grew in me, and my confidence grew in him.
Today is Saturday. I am resting. For those who don't know me, I am 65 years old and in fragile health due to what they call degenerative disease (my lower spine is crumbling). So this trip came at exactly the right time. In a few years, I would not have had the stamina.
Yesterday, I went to the cleaners and had some polyester pants pressed. For those who know their fabrics, polyester does not need to be cleaned. You wash it and then press it yourself. But I decided to have them pressed as a treat to myself. To understand the significance of this, you have to have known me back when I was on welfare. I was a single parent and lived on the dole for 12 years before I went back to college as a re-entry student. Then I went to work as a secretary because I was too frightened to use the teaching credential I had earned. When you are poor, it is unheard of to take clothes to the cleaners, but to get something pressed, that is really self-indulgent. (No offense to those who do this as a matter of course, but people who get government assistance need to be responsible.) Anyway . . . this was so exciting for me. I walked into the store and held out my ticket to retrieve me pants with a big smile on my face.
Two days until my plane takes off. I keep checking the weather.
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Post by Susan Peabody on Mar 1, 2014 14:25:05 GMT -8
March 1, 2014
Tomorrow is the big day. I have planned every detail and have plan B, C, and D. I am also ready for everything to go wrong so I won't go nuts if things change en route. I want to go with the flow.
Today, I spent most of my time answering emails, grooming and packing. I will check in when I get to a wireless station along my route. I go to Germany at 2:00 p.m. and then on to Zurich. Andre is going to help me take some pictures to post on my journal.
Put me in your prayers. I mean it.
Love and kisses . . . up, up, and away (drum roll please).
[/font]
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Post by CodepNomore on Mar 1, 2014 16:40:13 GMT -8
Susan, I am happy and excited for you and your trip. All the best for you. I am praying for you now.
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Post by James C T on Mar 2, 2014 14:00:05 GMT -8
This is exciting! Have a great trip!
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Post by Susan Peabody on Mar 4, 2014 6:43:07 GMT -8
March 2, 2014
Well I made it to the airport, but I can’t get on the internet yet. I will never fly economy again. Andre got me a business class ticket on Lufthanza and they treat me like a queen. Also, he ordered me a wheel chair and I got whisked to the top of the line altough with business class there is no line. Amazing.
My partner Frank and my son Karl drove me to the airport and kissed me goodbye. I was taken by wheelchair through all the check points includiing the one where you take off your shoes and put up your hands as if someone was going to rob you.
3:00 p.m.
I am on the plane. It just took off. I am having an anxiety attack, but I have made up my mind than if you want to be special fly somewhere. I recommend an international flight with all the extras. You don’t really need a destination; just fly somewhere and come home. I feel like a million bucks.
I am not going to complain on this blog, but I may mention the things that don’t go as planned. First of all, I expected culture shock when I got to Switzerland, via Germany, but actually it begins at the San Francisco Airport. Lufthansa is a German airline so English people like me are not on their way to Europe like me, Germans are on their way home. So no every person could help me. I had to look for staff.
I was afraid of who my seat-mate was going to be, but as usual God took care of me. Next to me, as I write this, is a very nice young man by the name of Jason. He is not only friendly, he speaks English. He is showing me the ropes and I am telling him about my work. I could not have gotten a nicer person to fly with. He works for PayPal and flies all over the world.
I am now watching a movie that I did not have the money to see in the theaters, so this is great. By the way,I will be saying “golly,” “great,” and “gee whiz” a lot. This is because I invited Susie, my inner child, along on the trip and she says she wants to write some stuff too.
Its about 4:00 p.m. and I have been given two glasses of orange juice and a menu for some cuisine later. I chose the word "cuisine" especially, as the word "meal" doesn’t suffice.
Soon I will take a nap and will wake up in Germany.
My watch says 12:00 midnight, but out the window the sun in shining. We are flying over England.
Jason has been an angel. Last night we slept together. Sorry Frank, but when I put my seat down he let his seat down and it was just like sleeping side by side. Very odd to say the least. I hope I did not snore.
I have a two-hour layover and then on to Switzerland. I am not as nervous as I was. I wonder what everybody is doing at home. I have everybody spying on everybody else so nobody is going to have a party while I am gone.
[/font]
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Post by Susan Peabody on Mar 4, 2014 6:52:15 GMT -8
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
My first session with Andre went well. We explored his childhood.
The rest of the day is for jet lag maintenance and returning emails. I will check in tomorrow. Everywhere you go is the most beautiful snow. It is like Christmas every day. I love it.
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Post by Loving My Life on Mar 4, 2014 7:48:59 GMT -8
Susan, I am glad to here that you made it to your destination. Now relax and enjoy your time there. I love the snowy pictures, as long as it stays there. hahaha
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Post by CodepNomore on Mar 4, 2014 16:31:18 GMT -8
I have never enjoyed reading a journal entry as much as yours. Simply magnificent.
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Post by Susan Peabody on Mar 7, 2014 0:46:53 GMT -8
March 4, 2014
What surprises me the most so far is how natural it feels to be here. I really feel like a worldly person. I fit right in. This is my home right now, not a strange place I am visiting. My grandmother was a world traveler. My first fancy dress was made of sari material bought in India.
I am exploring some new ground with Andre's inner child (Little Andre). Years ago I researched the word psychotherapy and the article suggested that the patient in therapy is trying to get what they did not get as a child. I shared this with my self-help support group and was told that in the self-help community they believe that nobody and no thing can make up for what you did not get as a child. As my sponsor put it, “healing is an inside job.”
It was for this reason that I ignored the work of Harville Hendrix. He believes that with the right person you could heal the inner child. For years I assumed he was wrong and that my self-help community was right until I met Sandra. We met when I was 56. We fell in love. Actually she was the first person to love me. All of my life I had done all the loving in my relationships.
Together Sandra and I healed our past. It began when we discovered that our fourth step inventories of our character defects were almost identical. This reduced our shame. We validated each other and forgave each other. We also did some inner child games like adopting a family of dolls, which we loved and nurtured. We took care of them the way we took care of each other in a way that would be unimaginable to our biological parents.
Robin Norwood said in her book, Women Who Love Too Much, that girls would nurture their dolls the way they wanted to be nurtured by their parents. I wonder if there is such a thing as doll therapy.
I have not completely analyzed how Sandra and I healed together but I will do it eventually and write about it. For now, let me just say that Harville Hendrix was right. With the “right” person some healing can take place in a relationship. But one has to emphasize finding the right person to do this. For one thing, it has to be a reciprocal relationship. The love must be going in the same direction. When one person tries to heal another by herself, we call it codependency.
I am saying this because I have decided, with Andre’s permission, that I am going to not only help him love his inner child, set limits with his inner child, and play with his inner child, I am going to personally give him some attention. The experiment is simple. We are going to co-parent his inner child and see what happens. If this seems to be doing some harm, or making him too dependent on me, I will pull back and when our work together is done I will wean him.
All of my professional friends reading this are probably horrified at the idea that a lay person is experimenting with a client, but I have always been an innovator. And it is not as if I am the first person to try this. John Bradshaw sponsors workshops where the patient sits in the middle of a group while they welcome the patient into the world. They also pour out other affirmations depending on the trauma the patient is trying to heal from. An example that I remember is affirming a woman whose father wanted a son by saying, “Welcome to the world; I am so glad you are a girl.”
I am not sure if studies support Bradshaw’s work, but I have tried it and it feels good. What is unclear is the long-term affects. In other words, is this just a catharsis without longevity or are the effects long-term or even a cure?. We don’t know.
Even if some kinds of self-help therapty do not translate into a cure, it feels good and can break up the endless depression many of us survivors feel. And you can repeat the process every few years. I did this with psychodynamics, and the time between psychotherapy sessions grows longer as my life goes on. My first sponsor told me this about anxiety: I was in early recovery and told my sponsor if this is what sobriety feels like, I wanted nothing to do with it. So he said, “Susan, it will happen less often and be less intense as your recovery goes on." You can say all this about affirmations and positive thinking. How long they help us cannot be determined, but they do help for awhile and since success builds upon success life gets better slowly but surely. This is a vast improvement on being hopeless and stuck.
So . . . I am going to modify the Bradshaw method so it is my own and try it with Andre. More on this later.
. . . I just had my latte (they are $6 here) and Andre will be coming soon for his next session. He speaks excellent English not to mention German and French and whatever they speak in Holland. He is Dutch.
Hotels are different in this part of Switzerland. They give you a lovely, clean room and then you fend for yourself. No room service. Although this is true of many American hotels as well, it is the norm here. Another difference is the restaurants. It is frowned upon to take food home if there is anything left on your plate. No "doggie bags." Even if you paid for the food, you don’t get to take it home. I am tempted to put it in a baggy and shove it in my purse, but while I am here I want to live as if I am a native. I want to experience and live a different culture, not drag my American habits over here.
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Post by Susan Peabody on Mar 7, 2014 0:54:59 GMT -8
March 7, 2014
The dream is unfolding. The only down side is the prices. Everything is very expensive.
Yesterday I woke up and stood on the porch. It was snowing. When I was young, my parents drove me up to the Sierra Nevada mountains in Northern California, and there was snow, but it was not snowing. So watching the snow crystals fall from the sky on to the porch was amazing.
The view was spectacular from my porch. There was a hillside dotted with churches and houses with the Alps in the background. I have heard about the Alps all of my life so you can imagine how special it is to be so close. Almost every church has a spire pointing to God.
On Tuesday, Andre took me to see one of the amazing churches. The art work is hundreds of years old and take up the whole wall. Candles were everywhere. When I can figure out out to email pictures I will send you some. We had to walk up a quarter mile of stairs and I almost didn’t make it. But that is the story of my life.
Yesterday, we went out to get some aspirin and on to St Moritz. Andre had some business, so I waited for him in a coffee shop of one of the very expensive hotels. I watched all the people. They all looked very rich and well dressed. There was mahogany everywhere, which is my favorite wood. The bathrooms are different here. The walls between stalls go all the way to the floor. Sometimes, in public places you have to pay. I hope they have one open stall for the unfortunate person who has no money,
We took the train to St. Moritz. There must be a word better than beautiful to describe the scenery we saw from the train. Maybe magnificent is better. Snow everywhere. More tunnels than I could count. Snow, trees and houses everywhere. What struck me right away about the buildings is that every single one of them have shutters. Andre said they all work (rather than just being decorative). I imagine they are there to keep the snow and wind out during the winter.
Andrea and I can’t help but do some of our “work” (counseling) as we go on our outings. I wonder if anyone listens to us. Andre says they mostly speak German and that he doesn’t care. He wants to get as much out of me than he can. He thinks I am a fountain of wisdom. Better than Google he says. What an ego boost that is.
Andre and I are currently talking about his childhood and the secrets he has been keeping from me. (For those who are wondering, Andre has given me permission to talk about his recovery. He thinks he might do what I do sometime in his future which includes sharing, what Alcoholics Anonymous calls “experience, strength, and hope.” Anyway . . . It turns out that Andre is still emailing the woman who abandoned him. I was surprised but did not chastise him. Slips are often part of the withdrawal process. Two steps forward and one step back. Many people in withdrawal are in so much pain that they cannot even comprehend that no contact means no contact. On the message board we have 12 no contact rules to help people understand what it means, but my clients still hear “limited contact” when you say “no contact.” Breaking through this denial is part of the recovery process.
I want to meet people where they are at, so I changed my work outline and decided to deal with this new revelation rather then working on his New Imago. That is an exercise I do with my clients. We take the Old (original) Imago described by Harville Hendrix in his book, Finding the Love You Want, and we tear it apart. We keep some positive traits and eliminate the negative ones. My Old Imago was based on my dad who was an alcoholic. So naturally, I was attracted to alcoholics. On my New Imago list of characteristics I had to remove my attraction to weak men.
Today is my day off. I need to refresh so I can get back to work. Tomorrow we will start the day with a session about Andre’s PoA (person of addiction: person you are addicted to). He is going to unload as much as he can so he can begin a real no contact. For those who know me through my message board, no contact is an attempt to starve the love addiction. If it does not work the love addict is labeled a “torch bearer” and we handle it in a different way.
Anyway, after our session tomorrow we are going up the mountain in a gondola. So I will get to actually touch the Alps as well as admire them in a book or from afar. For those who don’t know, a gondola is like a ski liff only it is enclosed. Andre calls it a cable car. At the top we will have dinner and watch the sunset. Doesn’t that sound wonderful.
The sun makes the snow sparkle. To me it looks like sugar. (As I type this I am sitting near a window looking out at the house next door. The roof is made of stone slabs. Not uniform tiles or slate, but individual stones of all shapes and colors. Excellent.
I am not sure of our schedule after tomorrow, but I know I want to buy some copies of Heidi. At church I have a young friend by the name of Heidi. She is Hispanic so her mother did not explain to her what a special name she has. My young friend is also helpful and friendly like Heidi. (If you have not read the book you should. Heidi is like the English Pollyanna.) Anyway, I want to get her the book so she knows how special her name is. At that age, special names translate into special person. Validation and attention is everything to a child, especially in a big family. The other copies are for me so I will always remember this trip.
Email me or comment if you have any questions. I will check in later.
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Post by Loving My Life on Mar 7, 2014 16:30:10 GMT -8
Hello Susan (Heidi),
I am so glad you are having an amazing trip, as well as still helping others in the process, what a blessing.
I know Andre' is in good hands, and I know you will pass along all of your experience, and he will make progress from this point forward.
All I would like is a postcard to add to my collections.
Since I will probably never be able to go out of the country, it is nice to be able to share in this journey.
Be safe and enjoy yourself, and please don't forget to rest also.
Hugs Carolyn
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Post by Susan Peabody on Mar 10, 2014 2:09:48 GMT -8
March 8, 2014
When I was ten years old, I used to visit my grandmother is Los Angeles. Each day she had me write a letter describing what we did that day. So I have been keeping travel journals for 55 years, and I am enjoying myself. My father did this as well. I have all of his letters from when he was away in World War II.
I am still searching for words to describe the beauty of the mountains just outside my window. Some of the cliffs are too steep to catch the snow but most of the peaks are heavy laden with what Andre calls sugar snow.
Andre and I started the day with a two-hour session. I asked him to check in with his inner child and see if Little Andre has been keeping any secrets from me. The invitation bore fruit and he confessed that he had not only emailed his ex-girlfriend two weeks ago, but was planning to meet her in Bali. Once again I reminded him that no contact was more successful in getting over someone than limited contact. I also explained the one thing those in withdrawal dread hearing. You cannot be friends with you ex. It only stirs up feelings that we hoping will drift away. My personal advice is that as long as there is any limerence (passion) you cannot be friends. Once you have moved on and fallen in love with someone else you could attempt friendship, but even then it is very risky. It is like the alcoholic. Some sober people can go into a bar for a soda and others cannot. They will end up drinking.
We spent the rest of the time trying to purge Andre of his ex and then not discuss her for awhile. He stayed up all night writing and writing about the pain she had caused him until he was exhausted. Then he researched the people with narcissist tendencies and realized that he had been the prey of a self-seeking woman who loved the chase but never meant to stay around. I call such peopole “seductive withholders.” Then I explained to Andre that narcissists or people with narcissist tendencies do not respond to treatment. Many professionals go so far to say they are untreatable. So if Andre is maturing and self-actualling while she is standing still and manipulating people and, furthermore, she is untreatable then there is really no hope. Some of you may disagree with me about the ability of narcissists to change. This is just my opinion.
Toward the end of our session Andre had what Ophra used to call a “light bulb” moment. He realized that she was a lost cause and that he needed to heal rather than continue to pursue her. So he agreed to contract with me to enter into a “no contact” period of time. I always suggest a lifetime of no contact, but some love addicts cannot handle that and need to pick a period of time like six months. When the six months is over I encourage them to renew the contract. The problem with a limited time frame is that torchbearers can wait years and then suddenly seek out the person and pick up where they left off years before. (The torchbearer is a particular kind of love addict.)
Andre is such a quick learner and when confronted tells me the truth so I believe we made some progress. At this point I usually send my clients to my message board where they can announce their no contact date and begin to correspond with other love addicts engaging in no contact. He will do well there.
As for whether he can maintain no contact with his ex-wife and ex-girlfriend, only time will tell. But I think he can do it.
After our session, the sun came out and Andre and I jumped on the bus to go to the ski resort. From there we got on both a ski lift and gondola and traveled up the mountain. At the top Andre had a salad and I had my second latte of the day. Yes! I am very addicted to lattes even though they are expensive. Andre was getting annoyed that I kept asking how much everything costs, but I explained that I was keeping track of how much it would cost me to come back on my own dime. I love it here. I feel so safe and stress free. I have not had a vacation since I was in my twenties and I took my children camping.
So far, traveling up the mountain and looking down on the skiers is my favorite activity. I was fearless . . . kind of. Well jumping into a moving gondola is kind of scary. You can’t hesitate, you have to just do it.
March 9, 2024
Today we went for a sleigh ride. Real horses. Real sheep blankets. Real jingle bells. And lots of snow. I felt as if I were in the Black Forest with Hansel and Gretl. I laughed and had a wonderful time meeting Andre's friends.
I am back at the inn resting. Later Andre is coming over with two goodbye letters. One for his ex wife and one for his ex-girlfriend. He was in a triangle. Then we are going to burn them with a candle. Hopefully we won’t burn down the inn. I am in withdrawal for not having any internet. Something just isn’t working and even though they said the inn had internet access, I can’t get on.
Take care.
P.S. I am staying in Flims
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Post by James C T on Mar 10, 2014 5:37:27 GMT -8
Thanks for sharing this. It is interesting to learn how others go through the process.
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Post by Susan Peabody on Mar 11, 2014 3:32:42 GMT -8
March 11, 2014
I woke up sad. I will not use the word depressed because that is reserved for people who are sad because they are in pain. I am happy, but sad to be leaving. Andre and I bonded and I think we will be working together for awhile. He deserves to have his dreams for a wife and children fulfilled.
Today we are going to see the house where Carl Jung lived. For those who know me, early in recovery (1982), I could not get enough of the Jungian-inspired writings. By I this I mean that Jungian archetypes were used to describe psychological concepts. For instance, I read a book called The Goddesses in Every Woman. Each of the Greek Goddesses was used as a metaphor for a personality type. Hera was the strong wife metaphor. Aprhodite was the kind of women men were attracted to . . . on and on. So, I am very excited to see where Jung lived. I use his philosophy a lot, although my heart belongs to Eric Berne and transactional analysis (child, adult, parent ego states).
We are also going to Maienfeld which is where the author of Heidi lived. I can't wait.
Later we are going to Zurich where I will get on my plane. On the way, we are going to work more on Andre's New Imago. This is the modified version of the Old Imago, the kind of woman Andrea was attracted to in the past. That had to be modified which we did over the internet before I came here. Now that I know Andre better I can better help prioritize the New Imago. For instance, I can see the need for an athletic woman to be way at the top of his list of characteristics he is looking for.
When I get home I am going to process my feelings about this adventure. Right now I just feel blessed. As much as I want to give Andre credit, it is God who has blessed me. As most of you know, I had a horrific childhood and then as an adult things got worse. In 1982 things began to turn around when I worked the third step in Alcoholics Anonymous (turn your life and will over to the care of God). I was blessed with sobriety, ego strength, a wonderful sponsor, and a new life.
After the initial afterglow in AA, life went back to the normal ups and downs. The ups included finding my love of writing and getting published. Sandra was a gift. But then four of my family died and I had to struggle. Now happiness once again. I have come to realize that this is life. It is like a wave. The good comes and goes. The bad comes and goes. David Richo says in his book, How to be an Adult that to be mature you must accept life on life's terms which are:
Life changes
We are alone
There is suffering
Life is unfair.
I have done this with all my heart and so I guess I have finally grown up. My therapist told me once this was the goal of our therapy because I was very immature. I wish he were here to see me now.
I want to thank my son Karl for his support during this adventure. Without a little push from him I would have been too afraid to get on a plane and go to a new country. I feel badly because I can tell from his emails that he wishes to be here with me. I will take him next time. I love you Karl and I am very proud of how you turned out. Starting in 1970 you have been by my side. You have seen the good, bad, and ugly. You have seen it all and yet you still love me. Dankeschoen (thank you).
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Post by Light on Mar 11, 2014 8:43:17 GMT -8
Thank you Susan, I love this last page you wrote. In a few lines you talk about life as it is, it's moving. Thank you for sharing you life with us, letting us learn so much for our lives.Ciao!
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Post by Susan Peabody on Mar 12, 2014 15:47:46 GMT -8
March 12, 2014 Yesterday, after seeing where Jung lived and where the author of Heidi lived, Andre and I checked into a hotel and then went to dinner. We decided to leave for the airport from Zurich instead of the mountain town where I stayed because the plane left so early in the morning. Every night since I got here I have slept through the night and had no PTSD nightmares. Amazing. Andre said it is the mountain air. Andre and I keep saying goodbye and thank you. We’re trying to find the right words to describe how much we both enjoyed and benefitted from the trip. Right now I am on the plane. We just got served a restaurant-quality dinner and I am going to take a nap. Business class has seats that lie flat. My new seat companion is named Andy. He is nice enough, but no Jason. My friend Jason was a keeper. Tomorrow I am going to rest until the jet lag is gone, and Friday I will go up to Five Sisters Ranch to teach. I love working up there. All the clients are where I was 31 years ago. My heart goes out to them. In the name of my first sponsor, Joan Roland, who taught me the meaning of unconditional love, I try to help these women the best I can. Andre is now on his way to visit his mother in Holland. My last bit of his advice to him was to end the confrontations with his mother and start collecting memories from the current relationship. She has dementia and when she passes he will have good memories. When I was ready to forgive my mother, I wrote her a letter. It was so intimate that I asked her not to call me when she got it. I was shy about it. I was also playing the avoidant with her. But when she was ill in the hospital, years later, she reached out for my hand and said with tears in her eyes, “Susie, you will never know how much your letter meant to me.” It was so much easier when she passed away to have memories of our reconciliation. I recommend this to everyone. I guess it is time for this travel journal to end. (I am still getting used to the term blog.) Or maybe not. Perhaps I will come back for a few more words of gratitude for the blessing of meeting Andre and creating this adventure together. While I was here he showed me how to download Skype so we will keep in touch. I have been hearing from people all over the world, so I needed to move beyond the telephone as a way to connect with my clients. The dilemma for me now is whether to see this as an ending or a beginning—maybe it is both. The childhood dream to go to Switzerland has been fulfilled, but now that I am a world traveler I feel as if there are a hundred new beginnings here as well. I never thought I would go outside of the US, and there is indeed so much to see in my own backyard, but right now I feel called to Europe. I am a quarter German and a quarter Irish, and I do want to see where my ancestors came from. Thank you all for joining me on “the trip.” Your comments are reassuring and encouraging. I thank all of you. Carl Jung's home in Switzerland. Someone lives there so we had to invade their space. Sorry. I have admired this man and his work all my adult life. |
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Post by Susan Peabody on Mar 15, 2014 16:43:37 GMT -8
The dreamer who started it all. Susie. While I was in Switzerland, I picked up another copy of Heidi. After I absorb all this, I will be ready for my next adventure. Thank you, Andre, with all of my heart. The end of this chapter. . . God has blessed me and I have no doubt that he/she will continue to do so. If you need my help, contact me. I am now an international healer. Have wisdom; will travel. I hope I was able to give back to Andre what he gave me. He said I did. I hope so[/font]. |
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Post by CodepNomore on Mar 21, 2014 23:05:55 GMT -8
Dear Susan, Thank you for sharing your amazing trip. It is inspiring in many ways: You see beauty even in small things. Your grateful heart. Your life still soars and how you continue to explore. Your professionalism and kindness. I am learning a lot from you. Kind Regards,Codepnomore Addendum
January 2015
I am now experiencing empty nest syndrome with a client because Andre and I really bonded. But he has met someone special and is going to be married. Then children. Life moves on and often our path goes in a separate directions. But "The Trip" is way up there as a blessed experience in my life, good enough to write home again.
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xolom
New Member
Posts: 9 
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Post by xolom on Apr 7, 2014 20:07:10 GMT -8
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Post by Susan Peabody on Jan 26, 2015 15:39:35 GMT -8
Addendum I have been back to Switzerland two times. I am very blessed. Andre, AKA Sebastian and I keep in touch. He says he is grateful and full of hope. My spiritual journey . . . brightertomorrow.net/WhereLoveAbides.htmAttachments:
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Post by Susan Peabody on Apr 14, 2024 10:06:59 GMT -8
Dear Susan, Thank you for sharing your amazing trip. It is inspiring in many ways: You see beauty even in small things. Your grateful heart. Your life still soars and how you continue to explore. Your professionalism and kindness. I am learning a lot from you. Kind Regards, Codepnomore Addendum
January 2015
I am now experiencing empty nest syndrome with a client because Andre and I really bonded. But he has met someone special and is going to be married. Then children. Life moves on and often our path goes in a separate direction. But "The Trip" is way up there as a blessed experience in my life, good enough to write home again. Attachments:
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