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Post by Susan Peabody on Sept 13, 2014 7:24:02 GMT -8
Sometimes we just need to have a good cry . . . (Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Women Who run With the Wolves.) Tears are a river that take you somewhere. Weeping creates a river around the boat that carries your soul life. Tears lift your boat off the rocks, off the dry ground, carrying it down river to someplace new, someplace better. There are oceans of tears men and women have never cried, for they have been trained to carry mother’s and father’s secrets to the grave. Crying has been considered quite dangerous, for it loosens the locks and bolts on the secrets he or she bears. But in truth, for the sake of our wild soul, it is better to cry. Tears are the beginning of initiation into the Scar Clan, that timeless tribe of men and women of all colors, all nations, all languages, who down through the ages have lived through a great something, and yet who stood proud.
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Post by James C T on Sept 16, 2014 5:29:17 GMT -8
Crying is something that I try to do alone and unseen.
The book sounds heartbreaking just by that cover. I'm not sure I could read it.
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Post by CodepNomore on Sept 16, 2014 6:12:22 GMT -8
Hi James C T,
I don't know but I see in you a kind-hearted person and so even if I see you cry, I would still regard you well and believe that those tears are for good reasons.
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somma
New Member
Posts: 3
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Post by somma on Dec 8, 2015 1:23:02 GMT -8
Crying is really something that can be very positive and cleaning!
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Crying
Jul 20, 2017 17:40:04 GMT -8
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Post by Susan Peabody on Jul 20, 2017 17:40:04 GMT -8
I feel sorry for guys when it comes to crying because of something I read once. I was going through a magazine at the doctor's and ran across a survey. They asked a thousand women what they wanted most from their men. Most of the women said they wanted a man who could emote his feelings and not try to hide the. So I am thinking we are making progress here. At the end of the magazine I came upon another survey. It asked what women hate most about their men. Most of the women said they hated it when he cried. So what are men supposed to do anyway? Later I read Real Boys by Pollack and he said it was not the fathers telling boys not to cry it was their mothers. Mothers want a macho boy in their life who will grow into macho men. So some women like a civilized, feeling man and others want a man they think can protect them like the warriors did in the past. So the guys I say find a woman who understand that men need to cry an to the women with an inner cave woman join the modern world. You do not need a man to protect you. You need a healthy, loving man that knows how to process their feelings with a good cry instead of beating the hell out of you because is stuffing his feelings. Progress not perfection I guess. P.S. I know I have changed. I once yelled at my son when he struck out and lost the championship game to "grow up and stop acting like a big baby." I regretted that for years but I could not take it back. Fortunately, he ignored me and cried when his puppy got hit by a van. I was proud of him. Also, if a man does not give himself permission to cry he will rage so I will take crying anyway. Most males abusers were never allowed to have feelings as children. I a not excusing their abuse, believe me. Still, from a distance, I understand their anger as I also rage myself now and then.
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Crying
Jul 22, 2017 7:34:05 GMT -8
Post by James C T on Jul 22, 2017 7:34:05 GMT -8
There is a dichotomy there, Susan, that most heterosexual men try to walk. Women do want a man who can express his emotions, but as the other survey showed, they find a man "losing it" unsettling, because on some level they still do want some sort of comfort or protection. A dirty little secret is that we too want this. But we're trained that we're the ones who have to stand up when everyone else is falling down. In our society and most societies, it is part of the social fabric and men are at least subtly put down when they don't meet this expectation.
But don't feel bad for us. In the times I have let myself cry, while the emotional release has been good, beyond that it has done nothing to fix or change or solve the situation. And that, repair, seems also to be our orientation. At least the way I see it.
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Crying
Jul 22, 2017 9:57:28 GMT -8
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Post by Susan Peabody on Jul 22, 2017 9:57:28 GMT -8
I will protect you. I think you are right. And God will too. He saved my life several times before I even acknowledge him. I am going to live as long as he wants me to whether I like it or not. LOL Thanks for this post.
Great point!!!
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