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Post by ~w~ on Jan 28, 2015 0:45:00 GMT -8
Hello everyone, as a step in recovery I usually consentrate on what is wrong with me my flows ( low self esteem, shynes, not perfect). The one woman said instead off concentrating on what you don't have or are not perfect at . Concentrate on your gifts, abilities , talents. Mostly off my life I did to suit others, is like I wasn't smth as everybody want. But I need to find me. My path. With a help off HP. Can someone help me with this? Thank you
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Post by James C T on Jan 28, 2015 6:49:59 GMT -8
Think about things you have done. Those are your abilities. Think about things that you've done that you've been complimented on. Those are your talents. Think about those complimented things that also seem easy or effortless to you. Those are your gifts.
YMMV.
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Post by CodepNomore on Jan 28, 2015 7:12:26 GMT -8
~w~, that's a very good question and James gave you an equally good answer. But I have good news for you, you can build your skills based on your calling and passion. Because most skills can be acquired. It does not have to be limited to your natural gift or talent. Just like in my case, most of my accomplishments, career growth or advancement were mostly acquired or learned skills and not really natural. So what is/are your interest(s) or passion?
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Post by ~w~ on Jan 28, 2015 22:17:20 GMT -8
Reading lol, studying , learning new things.. Driving, being supportive to others, honestly, ... Not sure if I have any talents ..need to try drawing ( something inside me wants that), piano ( haven't tried that), bit confused at the moment
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Post by ~w~ on Jan 29, 2015 14:08:09 GMT -8
~w~, that's a very good question and James gave you an equally good answer. But I have good news for you, you can build your skills based on your calling and passion. Because most skills can be acquired. It does not have to be limited to your natural gift or talent. Just like in my case, most of my accomplishments, career growth or advancement were mostly acquired or learned skills and not really natural. So what is/are your interest(s) or passion? . At the moment just observing . Maybe it's sounds foolish but I don't even like my work that much ( I fed up with ppl telling me what to do or clicking fingers to do work quicker)... I was thinking while young psychology, teacher ... Non off this happened. I guess god wanted me to be what I am today? |
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Post by Susan Peabody on Jan 30, 2015 10:26:23 GMT -8
I don't have a good answer, but I discovered my gift in early recovery. There were signs in childhood. I used to beg my sister to play school with me so I could write compositions as they used to call them. Today I am a writer and love it.
My sister's gift was her personality and hospitality.
Keep looking.
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Post by CodepNomore on Jan 30, 2015 20:14:14 GMT -8
~w~, that's a very good question and James gave you an equally good answer. But I have good news for you, you can build your skills based on your calling and passion. Because most skills can be acquired. It does not have to be limited to your natural gift or talent. Just like in my case, most of my accomplishments, career growth or advancement were mostly acquired or learned skills and not really natural. So what is/are your interest(s) or passion? . At the moment just observing . Maybe it's sounds foolish but I don't even like my work that much ( I fed up with ppl telling me what to do or clicking fingers to do work quicker)... I was thinking while young psychology, teacher ... Non off this happened. I guess god wanted me to be what I am today? It does not sound foolish at all. I have worked from restaurants and hotels, to hospitals and wellness, etc. I love and respect my team/staff and I find it to be very unprofessional and unethical to be clicking fingers to ask someone to do work more quickly. Maybe he/she is not trained well-enough to be a manager? Because true leaders lead by example and show trust and respect and won't micromanage like what he/she seems to be doing to you. He/she should meet with you privately and collaborate with you how to do things better. And once the standard of performance is well-understood and agreed upon, along with responsibility, you will be given the authority to do it by yourself in your creative ways. Managers will just oversee and assist you and you will be accountable, but there is enough space between you two. There must be trust and love. Employees must be trusted and respected since they are equally just as important, and good or bad it will affect their performance and the customers will sense it. Not good for the whole business. God will continually direct your step as you continually seek him. Surrender and commit your plans to him every step of the way and you will succeed. He would never forced you to stay or do anything against your will, especially if it would be bad for you. And you will sense peace in your heart when you are in line with his will for you. I only have fully entrusted my work to him last year and now he gave me the desire of my heart or "dream job". Continually seek improvement and learn from your and others' mistakes. Take care. |
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Post by ~w~ on Jan 31, 2015 0:31:57 GMT -8
Thank you for all the replays. I changed 1 work place after another. This is my last week at the other job. Staff members are very friendly , but some off doctors are thirsty for money and that's were this rush and clicking fingers starts... I do agry it's person mentality ... It was my first job as a dn health professional were I was treated poorly, but I stay. I would say the amount off stress I've used to get.. Shocking 2 years were so hard. But I passed my exams and things started changing. Got another opportunity , took it( I did not liked instability ). As I dependant on childminders, it's very hard to be changing my rota every week. And here am leaving agin . Bit more money... There is inner voice that telling me I need to open my creativity . But no idea how ? I feel very tired , depressed.
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Post by LovelyJune on Jan 31, 2015 5:11:44 GMT -8
There is only one way I know of finding out what your talents are or what you are good at, and it doesn't require an inner voice. It only requires DOING. It doesn't matter what you pick, you don't even have to "think" you like it. Just do it whatever it is (painting, singing, dancing, hiking, etc.) BUT...(and heres the trick), do it 25 times. AT LEAST. I say this because as a love addict we have the desire to reject anything that makes us feel awkward and uncomfortable and nearly EVERYTHING WE DO, when we do not know how to do it well, makes us feel awkward and uncomfortable. So...by doing ANY activity at least 25 times, we are able to work through the discomfort until we begin to feel comfortable. It is then and only then when you are able to recognize what you are good at and what you love to do. Not before. And here's another tip: we are good at virtually anything if we learn how to DO it.  It's just getting over the awkwardness. |
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Post by CodepNomore on Jan 31, 2015 6:49:17 GMT -8
~w~, what is it that you truly want to attain? If it is a new hobby you want to learn, based on studies on human behavior a habit is formed after 21 tries. Similar to what LovelyJune has said. However, if you need a career development or advancement, you need to develop a concrete plan first before you proceed. Because just going through it without a clear direction is like driving to a new location without a road map, moving around in circle wasting your time and fuel. It is like shooting aimlessly without a target to hit. So how can you succeed that way? In this competitive world, everything counts. Nothing should be left to chance. So it is important to know first where do you want to go and why do you want to go there. Then back it up with a concrete action plan and follow it through.
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Post by ~w~ on Jan 31, 2015 11:02:25 GMT -8
Thank you for replay. . What do I want to achieve? I want stability, to meet out needs and to enjoy my life. But what do I need to feel good about my life? Before poa I was certain that this carrer is good and plus have loads off choices. At the moment I loads of reading, and it's getting annoying it's hard to figure out simple things about me... It's all getting to much. My life goal was being in good relationship , and raising kids. Then I was thinking maybe if am ,, not lucky ,, in love I need to put my goals toward my carrer. Am good at what I am doing, tho I don't feel wage is appropriate to amount off stress, requirements, responsibility ... I love kids, nature,animals. I ve used to have interest in make up, masage , psychology .. And this is sooooo true it's like am driving my bus without map. That's true. I have no destination... I was offered theraphy the only thing is time!!! Saturday morning.. I have kids.... I bloody don't understand why it's always complicated ...
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Post by CodepNomore on Feb 3, 2015 6:18:01 GMT -8
Hi ~w~, It is only complicated in the beginning and because there's a lot on your plate right now. May I know, if for example, your current manager is not clicking his/her fingers, how would you feel about your present work? Have you tried letting him/her know how that gesture is making you feel? What are your top, main priorities as far as your career is concern? |
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Post by ~w~ on Feb 3, 2015 12:31:51 GMT -8
It's all set up for new work am starting it on Monday. ... Career wise no goals so far. Sometimes I do not like this work but as far as I know loads ppl feel like it. The hours are ok and no weekends involved. Thing is doctor is doctor I am assistant , so it's mean you do what they ask. Sometimes feeling like I want to be in that position, but then I guess if it was meant for me to be one I had had already ability, money exct. So I haven't figured out what is Gods plan for me. Not yet but keep prying , and thinking. Thank you codepnome. I feel annoying ? Maybe I am?
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Post by ~w~ on Feb 5, 2015 19:12:13 GMT -8
There is only one way I know of finding out what your talents are or what you are good at, and it doesn't require an inner voice. It only requires DOING. It doesn't matter what you pick, you don't even have to "think" you like it. Just do it whatever it is (painting, singing, dancing, hiking, etc.) BUT...(and heres the trick), do it 25 times. AT LEAST. I say this because as a love addict we have the desire to reject anything that makes us feel awkward and uncomfortable and nearly EVERYTHING WE DO, when we do not know how to do it well, makes us feel awkward and uncomfortable. So...by doing ANY activity at least 25 times, we are able to work through the discomfort until we begin to feel comfortable. It is then and only then when you are able to recognize what you are good at and what you love to do. Not before. And here's another tip: we are good at virtually anything if we learn how to DO it. It's just getting over the awkwardness. |
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Post by ~w~ on Feb 5, 2015 19:16:35 GMT -8
Lovely June, I do agree with you, sounds right about doing things and trying them , for certain amount off times . I had very hard time in my previous job ( nearly 2 years), I stayed and now I can say, nothing can scare me. Have another , No new job ( still the same path, eventually will learn new skills).start from Monday . As for myself money tight ..... And also my daughter needs activities She's very bubbly, and creative . I like horses, animals , I like work with kids. I ve been in my job only few mnth but I made good bond with few kids:(. I will miss them little ones. X
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Post by fufill on Apr 8, 2015 15:55:48 GMT -8
I would say us L.A. are very persistant so repeating something whatever it is for 25 times to realized what is our talent should not be a problem. We need to turn all of the qualities we used in the negative for the positive. We need to make a lists of all the good qualities we used negatively in addiction relationships. Think about it, and remenber all we exhaustinly do in our addictive relationships.
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Post by loveellen on Sept 1, 2015 16:27:36 GMT -8
Hello everyone, as a step in recovery I usually consentrate on what is wrong with me my flows ( low self esteem, shynes, not perfect). The one woman said instead off concentrating on what you don't have or are not perfect at . Concentrate on your gifts, abilities , talents. Mostly off my life I did to suit others, is like I wasn't smth as everybody want. But I need to find me. My path. With a help off HP. Can someone help me with this? Thank you God and yourself can help you find.....that is your life purpose...for others, that is difficult to understand you totally well ,and your gift .but the people around you long long time can give you some good advice .and if you offen join some competition ,(since a child, I took part in may competition,and won lots of awards so I know more about myself..) Feeling and practice .... |
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Post by loveellen on Sept 1, 2015 16:27:48 GMT -8
Hello everyone, as a step in recovery I usually consentrate on what is wrong with me my flows ( low self esteem, shynes, not perfect). The one woman said instead off concentrating on what you don't have or are not perfect at . Concentrate on your gifts, abilities , talents. Mostly off my life I did to suit others, is like I wasn't smth as everybody want. But I need to find me. My path. With a help off HP. Can someone help me with this? Thank you God and yourself can help you find.....that is your life purpose...for others, that is difficult to understand you totally well ,and your gift .but the people around you long long time can give you some good advice .and if you offen join some competition ,(since a child, I took part in may competition,and won lots of awards so I know more about myself..) Feeling and practice .... |
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Post by ~w~ on Sept 1, 2015 17:55:33 GMT -8
Only today I recieved the notification of this section ,, lol .. But what a difference in reading and understanding , it feels like I wrote long time ago in this section .. Today I actually seeing and reading it again, but the answers sounds more fruitfull.
I just wached movie till 3 am ( insomnia my sister), and was thinking what do I have that I am different ? What are my gift , talents , path ..
As you meantioned codepnome , I think I lll surender to God about that. I really would like to have one special thing , that is noticible and I can easily tell it's my gift .
Thank you ,James, for your answer ,it was very interesting. And it is true .
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Post by loveellen on Sept 2, 2015 4:18:52 GMT -8
I found when i tried to help some one,often select worng person , and made wrong things..
it is beeter to focus on myself, never try to help anyone, unless he/she asked my help very very kindly and eagerly..
never help others again, espeically for wong person
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It's just getting over the awkwardness. 
