Post by Susan Peabody on Jul 28, 2015 10:25:17 GMT -8
Replacement words from SMART recovery... It may or may not help loveellen but Ill just put it out there 
Instead of saying Say or Think
CANT CHOOSE NOT TO
MUST REALLY WANT/PREFER/CHOOSE TO
SHOULD REALLY WANT/PREFER/CHOOSE TO
HAVE TO WANT TO
OUGHT TO REALLY/WANT/PREFER/CHOOSE TO
AWFUL NOT GREAT/UNDESIRABLE
UNBEARABLE UNPLEASANT
CANT STAND DONT LIKE
ALWAYS OFTEN
ALL ALOT
Susan suggested using the word "appropriate self-concern over pain/painful"
Instead of saying or thinking: Say or think:
I must be perfect. I really want to do well.
You should not do that I prefer you not to do that
You ought to help I would appreciate your help
I can't stand this feeling I dont like feeling this way
You are a bad person I dont like your behavior
This urge is awful This urge is unpleasant
This situation is unbearable This is not the best way
Everything is terrible Things are not the way I want them to be.
This happens everytime This frequently happens
I am a bad person I behaved badly
I am a failure I made a mistake/I failed at
Focus on the solutions :0) If you dont like it, change it. Its uncomfortable (but not unbearable) to get out of self pity and poor me attitude. But staying in it doesnt work though, Ive learned this through the generous suggestions from others on this board. I want to change, and I have seen changes. Try it and fake it if you have to. Just do it.
Instead of saying Say or Think
CANT CHOOSE NOT TO
MUST REALLY WANT/PREFER/CHOOSE TO
SHOULD REALLY WANT/PREFER/CHOOSE TO
HAVE TO WANT TO
OUGHT TO REALLY/WANT/PREFER/CHOOSE TO
AWFUL NOT GREAT/UNDESIRABLE
UNBEARABLE UNPLEASANT
CANT STAND DONT LIKE
ALWAYS OFTEN
ALL ALOT
Susan suggested using the word "appropriate self-concern over pain/painful"
Instead of saying or thinking: Say or think:
I must be perfect. I really want to do well.
You should not do that I prefer you not to do that
You ought to help I would appreciate your help
I can't stand this feeling I dont like feeling this way
You are a bad person I dont like your behavior
This urge is awful This urge is unpleasant
This situation is unbearable This is not the best way
Everything is terrible Things are not the way I want them to be.
This happens everytime This frequently happens
I am a bad person I behaved badly
I am a failure I made a mistake/I failed at
Focus on the solutions :0) If you dont like it, change it. Its uncomfortable (but not unbearable) to get out of self pity and poor me attitude. But staying in it doesnt work though, Ive learned this through the generous suggestions from others on this board. I want to change, and I have seen changes. Try it and fake it if you have to. Just do it.