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Post by leahb on Oct 30, 2015 13:31:56 GMT -8
Hi Vivi, I want to commend you for being brave enough to sit in the uncomfortable feelings and not hurt yourself. Though it's important that we try to think positively, I think negative emotions are very important to our recovery. Particularly our ability to sit with them and provide them the attention they require. This too shall pass and soon the triggers that trigger you so much now, will not be as intense once you've faced them. Take good compassionate care of yourself  *hugs* |
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Post by abetterlife on Oct 30, 2015 17:01:31 GMT -8
Oh yes what triggers Vivi! Definately tough as these were close relationships, a good friend and sponsor. Abandonment feelings are the worst and choosing not to self harm during this time is so commendable. So like Leahb said, sitting with those feelings has helped let them go Im having a little difficulty as I had attended a funeral where my father was, an exchange happened and I have buried the feelings. I notice my addiction flare up and entice me, it will continue to until I face those feelings. It is quite interesting how it works. You are very brave! |
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Post by leahb on Dec 24, 2015 13:41:39 GMT -8
The holidays are challenging for those of us who are single and alone. I leave my job in a few minutes and then I'm going home to basically clean my place and cook food for tomorrow. I guess I felt that I'd have more in my life than the people-like my family-who have to be in my life. I've become so isolated in recovering from this disease and it's just so hard. I just wanted my life to look different and I'm too broken to have the things I want. Life has become pretty miserable at times and the holidays are not joyous events. And probably never really were.
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Post by Kristana on Aug 12, 2016 12:36:33 GMT -8
Did he became poa ?but nothing happend right?
I hope this is just a fase and u will feel better soon.
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Post by Kristana on Aug 12, 2016 20:16:44 GMT -8
Some reality is due.from tge start you saw with this man there is no future.why to make your self down and unhappy.when they say we choose how we feel.its exactly this.
Why u choose to feel down about a man that offered nothing and gave nothing.
Sonetimes we make our selfs dowm bc we are only use to this.
You have plenty to be happy about.
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Post by Havefaith on Aug 13, 2016 4:40:58 GMT -8
"One day at a time" -- I never understood the significance of that until I entered into serious recovery.
It helped me to understand that nothing, not even deep sadness, lasts forever. Everything passes -- everything. And instead of taking that as a negative, it can really be quite comforting, quite a relief.
Example from my life -- in the height of my addiction, I met with POA every Saturday to act out. I lived for it -- and I lied to family and friends as to my whereabouts. When it all came to a crashing halt -- I thought I would die. I did not. Here I am. I finally took it 'one day at a time' because thinking that I would feel such pain and withdrawal and downright depression day after day after day brought me to despair. I could not handle that, emotionally. I could not look at the bigger picture, because it looked so incredibly bleak. I only saw a broad landscape of misery (which I know now, is one of the biggest lies of addiction, and that is why 'one day at a time' is so strongly emphasized at anonymous meetings).
My faith (Trinitarian and referring specifically to Matthew 6:34 ) and my therapist (who practices Rogerian, unconditional positive regard therapy) encouraged me to take it a day at a time, because, truly that is all we are given anyway. Tomorrow is not guaranteed. Focus on today -- the here and now. And that does not mean we don't plan for tomorrow or for the future -- of course we do. But we do that even 'one day at a time' -- which sounds like a contradiction (plan for the future one day at a time -- huh?!) but somehow, it works.
And, yes, praise yourself for every little step you take! All those little steps will lead you to a better place...
Blessings,
HaveFaith
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