I have lost sense of spending money. I do tend to spend more than I can . I decided to spend 20 on Christmas but way end up 100. Today I am in debt . It's really tough and I feel deep Shane , that I am not controlling this habit. Money gives me security and today I have nothing .
Sometimes I say no and I do not buy, but most of the time I award myself with something .
I have to start putting all of my incomes and outcomes , on the paper. Might help to go debts anonymous .
I hate being in debt , and I used to be very responsible about my savings, today I just completely rely on God. To look after us. But that is insane ! Is it?
No not insane...its very real and debilitating. I struggled with spending beyond my means as well. I knew I was doing it, and I knew that it would hurt me in the end. But I also knew that I needed to do some things to take care of me. For so long I gave myself nothing. Put myself last over and over. Gave to others when I was the one who was needing things, patience and support. I needed to be there for myself.
I didn't always spend beyond my means when I was doing this....I didn't work very hard, said no to jobs, took time off when I should have been working, read on my computer and in books when I should have been doing the dishes or vaccuming or going to the gym. I knew what I was doing and I didn't care. I knew that one day I would figure it all out, and I did.
The thing that turned it around for me (spending and stressing over finances)....was reading and spending time writing about my financial picture. Taking concrete steps to make it better. I contacted a debt counselling centre....I never did use their services, but just by contacting them and writing and talking about my situation helped me to turn it around. I got more organized with my paper work and I had a better idea of where I was at financially.....something I was avoiding doing for a very long time.
So....when you are ready you will do it. When you take concrete steps to move in that direction it will happen....and you will be very happy you did it and it will all work out better than you think it will. At least thats what happened for me.
No not insane...its very real and debilitating. I struggled with spending beyond my means as well. I knew I was doing it, and I knew that it would hurt me in the end.
This is part of my story as well. I was obsessing about a man at my office in 1982. He was unavailable. To seduce him I went on a diet. Every night after work I went shopping to buy a new sexy outfit. I ended up losing 150 lbs and become anorexic. Also, the shopping became an addiction. I got high off the whole experience of shopping for something new and flattering. It spread to others things as well.
I know this did not happen you, but in all honesty when I was so far in debt that I had maxed out all my cards I began shop lifting. What a high that is. I love "things." Unlike people who steal just for the high and don't want the things, I loved my new treasures. It made me feel like a wealthy woman even though I was really a single parent working a dead end job.
I stopped when I joined Alcoholics Anonymous and did my moral inventory. I even returned some items.
Anything can be an addiction. How do you tell when normal shopping becomes am addiction? When everything is out of control and you try to stop but can't.
This link will take you to some programs. If you like the steps most obsessive shoppers go to Debtors Anonymous.
So you got a new name? I almost did not recognize you with your initial. But it's nice.
There is so much hope for you. I was a shoppaholic before and so-called "One day millionaire". Others even said that I spent as if money would expire tomorrow. I was also generous to a fault. But I had my turning point when I attended the burial of someone rich and someone living by faith. I saw how this rich man lost everything and yet gained nothing with his millions. While the other one living by faith with contentment, left behind people whom she had helped and made a significant impact to their lives. She was rich in good works. Therefore, I realized then that money should be spent wisely on what has true, eternal values. I started avoiding shopping outside of my well-thought list of legitimate needs and started investing on good soils. I only do mindful spending of my time, money, energy, talent. Since then, I keep saving well and could afford helping others in need. You can do this too with God's help.
You have great self-awareness, humility, honesty, faith, and willingness to change. So it does not matter how many obstacles you may be facing, you are a winner! Remember that...You are a winner in this life through your God.
Thank you codepnome , that is so nice of you ! Why I can't get better paid job, .. I feel so free when I don't have money. That's strange , maybe I am scared of responsibility ? It's really tought period ,I can't get out of the debt. I am trying to balance all but I am compulsive person.