Post by Susan Peabody on Oct 23, 2017 18:31:04 GMT -8
Are love addicted men any different from love addicted women?
There are a few differences but not many . . .
There are more men than women that get violent when rejected by a PoA, although I had two women clients, one who stabbed her husband to death and the other who tried to push him off a cliff. I met them when they got out of prison. Codependent men don't get violent just the narcissistic love addicts who were rejected by their mother. Codependent men try to "fix" women..
Male codependents are more ashamed of their love addiction and don't seek treatment or want to talk about theselves. I call them "closet love addicts."
When a man is rejected by his mother he is hurt more because she was his primary caretaker. Women are wounded by their fathers but only when they are older after they have already attached to the mother. When the bond is broken between the primary caretaker and the infant/child they develop attachment deficit disorder. Here is a description
I have noticed that men get more desperate than women are more likely to commit suicide. All love addicts get depressed but guys really think that life if not worth living without their PoA because it is like his mother leaving him all over again. These are just the things I have noticed over the years. Whoever reads this should share their opinion.
Post by Susan Peabody on Nov 2, 2017 15:49:33 GMT -8
This is nearly a certain process if the police get involved as no matter the circumstance, irregardless of how badly you were used or hurt, the police and the courts will most likely side with the woman. From then on everything you do, no matter how innocent or well intentioned is viewed with suspicion and you become afraid of the police.
In the movie "Men Don't Tell" which is about women battering men there is a scene what a man who was just beaten by his wife goes to a phone booth and calls a shelter. They hang up on him. I had a client whose wife used to hit him in the face when he didn't do what she said. Narcissistic women can be brutal.
My son is 6'6" and lived with a woman who was mentally ill. She used to shout and scream and throw things at him. Karl took a video of one of her tirades and called the police. They tried to arrest him until he showed them the video and then they told him he needed to move or they would arrest him the next time. They told her to calm down and then left.
There are a lot of violent men out there. I had an abusive husband. But sometimes men are the victim too. We must avoid generalizing about domestic violence and men and women in general.
Post by Susan Peabody on Nov 4, 2017 9:09:20 GMT -8
I had not finished school at the time and so, I was pretty much not self aware. During my 4 day stay, I met people that gave me great perspective on my problem. One of these people was Alice. Alice was in for the same reason I was. Anxiety related to a breakup. I shared my cigarettes with her and basically stayed near her the entire time I was there. She was glad for the company, mostly glad for the cigarettes. I had brought a carton with me and she, as a smoker, had only the pack on her at the time she checked in.
When you first came to the board you referred to yourself as a narcissist, but they do not feel compassion like you did for this girl. You time in the clinic reminded me of when I was in jail for committing a crime to please my PoA (1968). I was always told that jail was a dangerous place but all the other women comforted me when I could not stop crying. One of them gave me her a blanket and another one lay down next to me to offer me some comfort. I will never forget those women.