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Post by Deleted on Nov 3, 2017 22:04:56 GMT -8
"I don't know what I want... and when you don't know what you want, you have reached a state of Desirelessness" -Alan Watts This means that some of the people in the state of change, especially people in recovery, are some of the most enlightened individuals you may ever know. I'm going to post selected works from the body of lectures given by Alan Watts. He is wise and imperfect. This thread is for posting and discussing anything Alan Watts related, or anything discussing the spirit and substance of his teachings. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alan_WattsHow to find yourself if you are lost...
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Post by Deleted on Nov 6, 2017 4:11:12 GMT -8
That is the little "n" in me. I often proceed from an inherently selfish place. Indeed all helpers, and all people in some way, proceed from a common place regarding self love. If we did not have these experiences, you would not be who you are now. Accepting that is coming closer to living in reality.I had discovered this phenomenon of "can't get fed because I was emotionally hungry" in 2001. I could not hold the attention of women. When they discerned that I was emotionally compromised they would always "ghost" me (disappear without further contact). This was before "ghosting" was formally a thing.
If you got this far, you need to finish... @ 39:50 That parable struck me hard well before Alan points out the difficulty of understanding the meaning. I feel a sense of mastery now at understanding perspective and viewpoint in my relationship with POA. This is an important parable for people who are seeking toxic love again and again.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 7, 2017 5:05:15 GMT -8
Alan continues his lectures on love. This one is titled "How To Attract Your True Love"... good stuff.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 13, 2017 1:11:40 GMT -8
To comprehend is to pardon...
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Post by paisley on Dec 13, 2017 8:06:16 GMT -8
Yeah, the “how to find your true love” one really speaks to me.
This validates how when I start to obsess, that should serve as a signal that things are not fitting together naturally and automatically. I should not have this much awareness of the process.
Can’t believe I still have so much to learn with regards to letting go and not trying to direct.
As far as making myself a rare and desired commodity, I’ve gotten so many mixed messages in this regard. I think finding a healthy balance is key. I should be able to show and express interest when that’s my truth, but I need to step back when it’s me doing nearly all the pursuing.
Watts’ philosophy also speaks in direct contrast to online dating apps, etc (even though they arose after his time), as it seems anyone who is marketing herself as available must have some deep flaw of some sort.
I was thinking yesterday about how dating online seems to be THE way to date these days. I don’t do it, and as a result I rarely date. I want to stick with that value of mine (not to advertise myself via online dating) but I also worry about being left behind as our world, and our collective values change all around me.
Dating norms and gender roles seem to be rapidly changing, and if I may speak for women; many of us don’t know what to do. I seem to be more clueless than most.
I understand that it should be more seemless and automatic though, and I really needed to listen to this to renew my resolve to hand it over and stop obsessing. I look forward to hearing more of his lectures.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 14, 2017 1:38:50 GMT -8
Alan discusses Carl Jung and the e vil within us all. This e vil, The Shadow, must be befriended. One must accept this part of one's self in order to act in unity with all of yourself and avoid self doubt and conflict within your own heart.
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Post by paisley on Dec 14, 2017 5:02:15 GMT -8
Thank you so much for posting these. I plan on listening to everything that has been recorded of him.
I listened to lectures all day yesterday while I worked.
I can already tell this is going to be a game changer with regards to how I view myself.
The concept of viewing myself to include my experiences and perceptions around me at the present (if I'm understanding his philosophy correctly) already seems incredibly empowering and uplifting...I can't wait to see where this takes me!
Also, the concept that I am made up of the same stuff as the universe, in essence, I *am* the universe is something I've always believed inherently. Lately I have lost touch of that and as a result I've become more self destructive & have been beating myself up quite a bit. The concept of me being the universe looking in on itself is both mind blowing and calming. This has brought tears to my eyes.
There is just something about hearing these beliefs explained by him that resonates with me and this is exactly the kind of self-esteem boost and reality check I needed!
Thank you again, good sir!
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Post by Deleted on Dec 20, 2017 1:38:54 GMT -8
I'm trying to see the bigger picture. I'm trying... trying... not seeing but trying...
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Post by paisley on Dec 20, 2017 12:50:47 GMT -8
This helps me keep things in perspective:
“Through our eyes, the universe is perceiving itself. Through our ears, the universe is listening to its harmonies. We are the witnesses through which the universe becomes conscious of its glory, of its magnificence.” -Alan Watts
Everything else is pretty meaningless as far as human constructs go. Remembering this seems to have toned down my obsessing by 85% or so. Sitting here wondering what someone thinks of me seems silly! I am the entire universe! I don’t need validation.
Another concept I’m grasping is yin & yan. Light depends on darkness, and vice versa. I’ve always had a hard time accepting the “seasons” of my life. The unpleasantness and suffering. As a child I remember experiencing huge mood swings after transitioning from something fun (like a camping trip or party) back into the every day blah. Now I’m starting to see how I can’t experience the highs without the lows. They depend on each other to exist. So I can feel the lows (sit in the pain, as some say) with the understanding that all my good times (the highs) are what gives me the perception that I’m in a low period. That’s so simple, yet so powerful! As human we want to eliminate all the bad, and that’s simply not possible. Seeing “bad” as a function of “good”, and vice versa is unbelievably comforting to me. It at least keeps me grounded in reality when I know sometimes life is supposed to suck. If I haven’t experienced such goodness and joy, I’d never know it sucks.
Man, this is good stuff!!
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Post by Deleted on Dec 27, 2017 15:00:06 GMT -8
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Post by loveelleng on Dec 30, 2017 2:21:48 GMT -8
Alan continues his lectures on love. This one is titled "How To Attract Your True Love"... good stuff. What is this guy saying ? I don't understand because my English
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Post by Deleted on Dec 30, 2017 2:45:45 GMT -8
Alan continues his lectures on love. This one is titled "How To Attract Your True Love"... good stuff. What is this guy saying ? I don't understand because my English If you can open the page to Youtube, in the lower right hand corner is a "CC" logo for closed captions. When you see them in english, select the gear icon in the lower right. In this menu you can select auto-translation for traditional or simplified Chinese. The auto-generated English subtitle is very inaccurate. I can imagine the translation to Chinese will be confusing and filled with errors.
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Post by Susan Peabody on Dec 30, 2017 12:44:32 GMT -8
This is so true but it is also sad. The man falls in love with a mysterious woman and then he finds out she is a narcissist or unavailable or just not right for him. I wish women could just be themselves and attract men that way. Then he knows what he is getting and she knows she is loved for her real self. I think this is why love addiction is so prevalent throughout the world. I call being mysterious "image management." This is pretending to be someone you are not just to get a man. Women are actually groomed to do this by their mothers who are terrified they will not find a husband When I was a child I used to get letters from my grandmother who told me if I did not lose weight and learn to seduce a man I would never grow up and have a family. This is one of the reasons I have such low self-esteem. Frank has some problems with me but for the most part he loves me despite my temper and my excess girth. But I had to lay down the law. I told him if he was not happy with me just the way I am, with only a few modifications, he could just move on. He stayed and apologized. "Poets have no right to picture love as blind. We must remove its blindfold so it has the use of eyes." Pascal.
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Post by paisley on Dec 30, 2017 13:11:23 GMT -8
Yeah, it sucks! And I get advice to go both ways. If I'm more aloof, I'm not showing interest and the guy moves on in another direction. if I show interest I'm acting desperate or trying too hard.
And it may vary based on culture. I know in my area the women are generally very competent, independent and assertive. Men are more detached and seem to want the women to come to them. I've had many guy friends tell me this...they don't have to ask for phone numbers, women ask for theirs.
When I go to other cities, I find the men to be more assertive.
Many women in my city describe the men as detached and lazy when it comes to courting. They do not make an effort.
Maybe there is a balance in there somewhere. Showing enough interest, but giving a guy enough room to meet you part way. I don't know. According to these lectures, the process should be effortless and automatic. I think I agree with that. Perhaps I just need to let go.
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Post by loveelleng on Dec 30, 2017 13:15:31 GMT -8
so true but too late, I met not only one true love, but I selected toxic one.
that is coddpendency habits.
childhood evnirements. too cruel... I dont want to read these things any more, too sad and too triggered, and nobody in this world relaly can undrerstand self and her higher power. that is too sad. somehow therapist relaly can help but help is not feeling self.
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Post by loveelleng on Dec 30, 2017 13:17:14 GMT -8
my shocolmatd who was born and grew up in a healhty family , they very easy get what they loved and have a peaceful lives, unfotutrtate to live such a dysfunctional famly, with so many toxic members.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 26, 2018 15:45:50 GMT -8
This is a short reminder that we are already the people we are capable of being. If we could be different, we would be. Love yourself today. If you are in love with who you will be, you will never acquire authentic self-love.
"Kindly let me help you or you will drown, said the monkey putting the fish up a tree."
Holy God this is me. I am the monkey and POA is the fish. Holy God help me.
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Post by loveelleng on Jan 27, 2018 4:48:17 GMT -8
"I don't know what I want... and when you don't know what you want, you have reached a state of Desirelessness" -Alan Watts This means that some of the people in the state of change, especially people in recovery, are some of the most enlightened individuals you may ever know. I'm going to post selected works from the body of lectures given by Alan Watts. He is wise and imperfect. This thread is for posting and discussing anything Alan Watts related, or anything discussing the spirit and substance of his teachings. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alan_WattsHow to find yourself if you are lost... i dont think i really dont know what i want, just life too disapponted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 27, 2018 5:09:22 GMT -8
i dont think i really dont know what i want, just life too disapponted Ellen, Have you ever heard of "vinegar tasters"? 三酸圖, three sours; 嘗醋翁, vinegar tasting old-men; 嘗醋圖, 尝醋图 你有没有听说过“醋品尝者”? en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vinegar_tasters"The three men are dipping their fingers in a vat of vinegar and tasting it; one man reacts with a sour expression, one reacts with a bitter expression, and one reacts with a sweet expression. The three men are Confucius, Buddha, and Laozi, respectively. Each man's expression represents the predominant attitude of his philosophy: Confucianism saw life as sour, in need of rules to correct the degeneration of people; Buddhism saw life as bitter, dominated by pain and suffering; and Taoism saw life as fundamentally good in its natural state."
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