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Post by Susan Peabody on Jun 19, 2018 14:28:33 GMT -8
There are also times when no contact is impossible. If you have financial ties, share a business, work together, or have children with your ex-partner, it is really difficult to eliminate all contact because you have unfinished business. It is important for all of us in LAA to refrain from judging those who choose LC. The shock of NC can be just to much for some. Often people need to wean themselves for the sake of their sanity. Other times, with a child, LC with healthy boundaries is better. Withdrawal is just impossible some times. Codependents, especially, may opt for LC because there is a family and/or extended family involved; especially a child. NC is not a rule. LAA has never made it official. The idea began with one of our early members who was a love addict / codependent and unwilling to give up her relationship with her adult child. In summary, LC involves healthy boundaries. Do not fool yourself into believing that going back into your codependency or love addiction is just LC. Attachments:LAA Limited Contact.pdf (25.58 KB)
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Post by Susan Peabody on Nov 17, 2020 9:16:44 GMT -8
When "No Contact" Is Not Helpful - (Love Addiction & Codependency) This video gives a bit of an alternative view, but I do think there is a place for some of the ideas discussed in it:
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Post by Susan Peabody on Nov 17, 2020 9:20:05 GMT -8
I am using the limited contact method for my son Karl. Withdrawal from daily contact is tough but it was necessary to help him grow up. I tried no contact and it was unbearable, especially around the holidays.
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Cheryl
Junior Member
Posts: 72
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Post by Cheryl on Jun 16, 2022 5:49:30 GMT -8
As I live with my husband, I have to use LC. However, we really don't talk much, as he's non-confrontational. Just yesterday, he came home, sat down on the couch next to me, and didn't speak as he called Whirlpool (I had called them yesterday) to complain that our part hasn't come. He didn't ask me if I had called, so I didn't offer any information. I figure maybe he will be successful in his call, as I wasn't yesterday (this is a new perspective for me). However, what I heard was him being impatient and a bit rude. Being a "Watcher" really affords me a view of him that often isn't very nice (but clearly something I wasn't seeing before).
I typically go in the other room to watch TV, wear my earphones a lot while working at the kitchen table, and just cook, do, or whatever for me only. This is very different than how I used to be when I was cooking every night for him, doing his laundry, and so on. Our house is not finished, so I can't go upstairs or out of the way. I naively wanted an open floor plan, so we are right under each other until the house gets finished, whenever that might be. Ugh.
What's so weird is that he doesn't speak. It's always small talk with him. I hate it, but I'm starting to realize that this affords me MY time. Because he is already LC, it's been much easier for me to do this. It's messed up to think he's already using LC with me. I just wasn't seeing it. There's just so much I wasn't seeing before...
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