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Post by Susan Peabody on Nov 20, 2020 14:06:54 GMT -8
SLAA is the older of these two programs. They each have their own literature and definition of recovery. SLAA focuses on both sex and love addiction, and we focus more on love addiction, and the different kinds of love addicts, including codependent love addicts. If neither SLAA or CoDA suit you, this program may be ideal.
SLAA uses the term "bottom line behavior," and LAA uses the term "appropriate boundaries." We don't talk about sex addiction even if our members have both disorders simultaneously.
Some of our members are uncomfortable at a meeting that includes certain kinds of sex addicts; like pedophiles or men and women addicted to pornography, which often shows violence and the degradation of women. So, in LAA we want to keep the focus on love addiction.
SLAA believes in abstinence for most addictions, while LAA allows "limited contact," as well and "no contact." Some of our love addicts are parents addicted to their children and children addicted to their parents, so talk about sex would be inappropriate.
I think between SLAA, CoDA, and LAA we all have something to offer all people suffering from addictions that include, relationships and fantasies. Check them all out and choose the one that helps you the most.
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Post by Susan Peabody on Jan 25, 2021 7:24:47 GMT -8
Since writing this I have had some thoughts. I am torn between my own personal feelings, the needs of this organization, and the feelings of others in other programs. As a result, I have trying to keep sex addicts out of Love Addicts Anonymous. This was my original purpose for starting LAA in 2004. But know I have come to see that it not the sex addicts themselves that trigger me, but their explicit stories . . . especially the stores about pornography, masturbation, and pedophilia. To make it clear: Sex addicts are welcome but their stories are not. This was recently approved by the business meeting on December 7, 2020. Post here if you have any concerns or questions. In the spirit of reaching out across the aisle, here is the best literature for sex addiction. Patrick Carnes endorses the 12 Steps. He sees them as mandatory. |
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terra
Full Member
Posts: 165
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Post by terra on Jan 25, 2021 9:21:08 GMT -8
I think I agree.
I am definitely a love addict but not a sex one.
And I can see that some graphic stories might trigger very unwanted emotions.
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Post by Susan Peabody on Mar 28, 2021 7:44:57 GMT -8
You must register and log in to post . . .
We have plenty of meetings now. Try again . . .
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Post by londondreamer on Jun 12, 2022 23:53:09 GMT -8
I understand that in the States and in places like San Francisco SLAA is a very different fellowship from somewhere like London. In my experience of attending meetings in London there are many love addicts in SLAA, as well as dual addicted and people who seem to be only sex addicted but didn't like the other S fellowships and chose SLAA for their sex addiction recovery work.
I'm not a sex addict and don't have a hangup about sex. I haven't heard any explicit talk about sex at the London SLAA meetings I've attended so not sure if this is an issue with SLAA being different in different parts of the world.
As part of my recovery I know it is important to have tolerance for those with different struggles and if someone is in recovery and working a programme I consider them one of the winners and those are the people I try to stick to.
SLAA has many good insights on love addiction as does LAA but there are differences in perspective on love addiction in each fellowship and I need both for my recovery.
I certainly only really heard about LAA due to the pandemic and the zoom meetings. It's quite possible LAA f2f meetings might start up in somewhere like London once word gets out among love addicts attending other fellowships.
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Post by Joel B on Jun 29, 2022 12:18:20 GMT -8
Thanks for this thread. I've been in SLAA for just over a year now, and I consider myself a love and validation addict. I'm interested in exploring whether this might be a better fit for me, since I'm definitely not a sex addict. As you describe, I've been turned off and occasionally triggered by some of the fairly specific shares in SLAA, which sometimes seem to be as much bragging about their exploits as they are about helping themselves and others with their recovery. Thanks again,
-- Joel
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maryruth
New Member
Moderator
Keep Coming Back! IT works when YOU work it AND YOU ARE WORTH IT!
Posts: 43
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Post by maryruth on Jul 2, 2022 7:17:22 GMT -8
Welcome Joel!
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