Healthy Love

1. Healthy love develops after we feel secure. Unhealthy love tries to create love even though we feel frightened and insecure.

2. Healthy love comes from feeling full. We overflow with love. Unhealthy love is always trying to fill an inner void.

3. Healthy love begins with loving ourselves first. Unhealthy love tries to avoid looking at ourselves and always seeks to get love from that “special someone.”

4. Healthy love is based on our ability to love and trust ourselves and others. Unhealthy love seeks sex and romance because we feel empty inside, and don't trust ourselves or others.

5. Healthy love allows us to be vulnerable because we feel secure inside. Unhealthy love is based on a shaky foundation. We feel we must protect ourselves.

6. Healthy love grows slowly like a tree. Unhealthy love grows fast, as if by magic.

7. Healthy love thrives on time alone as well as time without your partner. Unhealthy love stems from being frightened of being alone.

8. Healthy love teaches feels safe and secure. Unhealthy love is tense and combative.

9. Healthy love flows out. Unhealthy love caves in.

10. Healthy love creates a deeper sense of ourselves. Unhealthy love creates a loss of self.

11. Healthy love gets easier as time goes on. Unhealthy love requires more effort as time goes on.

12. Healthy love is like rowing across a gentle lake. Unhealthy love is like being swept away down a raging river.

13. Healthy love is satisfied with the partner we have. Unhealthy love is always looking for more or better.

14. Healthy love teaches that we can only make ourselves happy. Unhealthy love expects the other person to make us happy and demands that we try and make them happy.

15. Healthy love creates life. Unhealthy love creates melodrama.