Promise #3 Love at First Sight

This promise is fulfilled when you understand more about healthy love. You begin by not calling it love until it has developed over time. What happens at first is attraction and nothing more. Use thought-stopping to nip the urge to obsess in the bud. Here are some examples of healthy love.

1.Healthy love develops after we feel secure. Addictive love tries to create love even though we feel frightened and insecure.

2. Healthy love comes from feeling full. We overflow with love. Addictive love is always trying to fill an inner void.

3. Healthy love begins with loving ourselves first. Addictive love tries to avoid looking at ourselves and always seeks to get love from that “special someone.”

4. Healthy love is based on our ability to love and trust ourselves and others. Addictive love seeks sex and romance because we feel empty inside, and don't trust ourselves or others.

5. Healthy love allows us to be vulnerable because we feel secure inside. Addictive love is based on a shaky foundation. We feel we must protect ourselves.

6. Healthy love grows slowly like a tree. Addictive love grows fast, as if by magic.

7. Healthy love thrives on time alone as well as time without your partner. Addictive love is being frightened of being alone.

8. Healthy love teaches me to value my own company. Addictive love is tense and combative.

9. Healthy love flows out. Addictive love caves in.

10. Healthy love creates a deeper sense of ourselves the longer we are in love. Addictive love creates a loss of self the longer we are together.

11. Healthy love gets easier as time goes on. Addictive love requires more effort as time goes on.

12. Healthy love is like rowing across a gentle lake. Addictive love is like being swept away down a raging river.

13. Healthy love is satisfied with the partner we have. Addictive love is always looking for more or better.

14. Healthy love teaches that we can only make ourselves happy. Addictive love expects the other person to make us happy and demands that we try and make them happy.

15. Healthy love creates life. Addictive love creates melodramas.