Doing the Work

June 12, 2023

We have to do the work.

I asked my therapist once, "How are we doing Doctor Swope?" He said "What do you mean we? I hold the flashlight; you chop the wood."

This is the question today in the world of twelve steps and psychology. The seventh step suggests that God must remove our shortcomings. The psychologists believe that we do that ourselves. My middle ground is that we do both simultaneously. We humbly ask God to help us, and he sends us the wisdom to know what to change, but then we must do the changes ourselves. We must start acting and thinking differently. We must change of our own effort.

In my book, Addiction to Love, I chose to refer to the inner child as the "eternal child within." I did not think she ever really grew up and that we had to spend the rest of our lives making up for her raw emotions and erratic behavior. This was especially true of my inner angry teenager. At the same time, I said "love your inner child but don't give her the keys to the car." As a result, at some point, I just gave up and stopped maturing. Then my therapist said, "Susan your recovery is simple. You have to grow up." To this I will add, "whether I like it or not."

So recently, I have been looking into what is holding me back. Well, it is fear and habit. I had to opt for negative attention as an unwanted child, and I became addicted to it. Also, what if nobody likes my other personality?

This all me brings me back to God. He inspired me to write, The Art of Changing, and now I need to practice what I teach.