Post by Susan Peabody on Oct 31, 2022 9:00:45 GMT -8
Fear-Based Control
Love addicts often have underlying issues like having the personality of an Adult Child. It is wise to learn more about the Adult Child from the organization Adult Children of Alcoholics & Dysfunctional Families.
One of the personality traits of the Adult Child is what I call fear-based controlling. This stems from our childhood where we did not get our needs met. We tried to change this by taking control. We either try to control those around us, or we try to control ourselves beyond reason. People pleasing is an attempt to control others. Trying to be perfect is a way to control ourselves.
Write an essay in which you address the following:
Why do I try to control?
How does it manifest itself in our lives?
What can we do about it?
Sample answer:
I try to control because my mother did not love me, and I tried to change that.
I try to change the outcome of every situation. I people please. I try to buy love. I accept abuse. I try to be perfect.
I accept that I cannot control others and my situation and practice acceptance instead.
