Staying Friends with a Qualifier

This came up at an LAA Meeting this evening. Generally speaking, if you are still in love with your Qualifier it would not be wise to try to be friends. This will just prolong the agony.

When you are no longer in love, you can test the waters with limited contact, but often this leads to a slip or relapse. Be careful.

Love Addiction is a very powerful disorder. It does not go away overnight. Most of the time it is a process. One day at a time, we think less about our Qualifier. Everyday, the pain of withdrawal eases up a bit. If not, please reach out for professional help. Some of my clients have actually committed suicide during withdrawal because they were unable to let go. They could not imagine a life without this person, so they sink deeper and deeper into depression.

Recovery begins with the understanding that you are in a toxic relationship. Then you must reach out for help. Then you must go to meetings and sometimes therapy. Then you need to change. I am one of those people who needed a relationship with my Higher Power to finally let go and move on. This is why I created LAA, which is a spiritual program.

As for friendship . . . surround yourself with friends; be your own best friend; be friends with God.