Post by Susan Peabody on Mar 15, 2024 14:04:51 GMT -8
Susan’s Story
My name is Susan Peabody, and I am a survivor of physical, verbal, and sexual abuse. I have been in recovery for forty-one years.
In 1952 I was molested by my father. I was four years old.
In1966 I was date raped by my best friend. I was a virgin.
In 1968 I was gang raped after dark while walking down the street. I was also beaten by my boyfriend and taken to the hospital several times. I was pregnant at the time.
In 1969 I was taken at knife point to a motel and raped by two men.
In 1970 my boyfriend started hitting me in the face. H was trying to force me to do something immoral.
In 1972 I left by boyfriend and isolated from the world. I found release in alcohol and ended up an alcoholic.
In 1973 I got into therapy and my therapist seduced me and then ended my therapy. I never reported it until I got back into therapy years later. I reported it to my new therapist and not the police because I could not remember the first therapist's name.
In 1978 I got into therapy again and explored issues relating to my past trauma beginning with my childhood and then into my adolescent and adult years. My therapist diagnosed me with a personality disorder and told me that I had PTSD which caused me to disassociate. In time I went from a dysfunctional person to a woman who was high functioning despite my past and the psychological effects on me.
I continued in therapy and dealt with underlying issues such as anxiety, depression and a mood disorder. Therapy helped with the right therapist.
In 1982 I got sober in Alcoholics Anonymous and went back to school to become a teacher.
In 1989 I started helping other survivors of trauma by writing books and facilitating workshops.
In 2018 I went to live with my fifty-year-old son, and he began to beat me daily. I got discouraged and wanted to kill myself. God had other plans.
I left my abusive situation and started going to a support group. It helped me set protective boundaries around myself. I also got into therapy to figure out why I would accept abuse and end up with abusive men, even my own son.
Eventually, I met a very nice man named Frank and we were very happy until he died cancer.
Today, I like to go into the prisons and help men and women overcome their abusive situation. The secret is to love ourselves. This begins with self-knowledge, a clearer understanding of what a healthy relationship is, psychological help, self-honesty and a drastic change in how we think and behave in our relationships. It means setting appropriate boundaries without creating walls between us and the good people out there. Most of all, I believe that we must turn to God to help heal our wounds. For me this was not optional. It was mandatory.
I will never let anyone abuse me again. I have a choice now that I did not feel I had in the past. Partly because of the male-dominated culture I lived in and partly because I blamed myself for all the trauma. No more . . .