Surviving Sexual Trauma

Surviving Sexual Abuse

I have going into prisons to help people with their recovery for forty years. Last week, in the news, I read an article about the sexual abuse of over one hundred women, by guards, in a Women's Federal Prison. Not only was it shocking that it happened, but apparently it had been happening for a long time. Four years ago, the warden was replaced for sweeping this under the rug. Since then, three other wardens (all men) had been replaced as well as the prison chaplain. This inspired me to set up a support group in the prison for these sexual abuse survivors.

While most victims of sexual abuse are women, men also get traumatized by women. I have treated many men for this is over the years and I talk more about this is the thread about male sexual abuse survivors.

There are several categories for sexual abuse. All of them can occur during childhood, adolescence, or adult hood. They each have their own set of consequences and require a different kind of therapy.

Overt Sexual Trauma

Incest by relative
Mother/Son incest
Father/Daughter incest
Molestation (inappropriate touching)
Rape by a stranger
Rape by a relative
Ongoing rape
Date rape
Being forced to undress
Sexual trauma by a babysitter
Sex with a minor even if it seems consensual.

Showing a child pornography
Inappropriate conversations about sex
Nudity by an adult around a child
Voyeurism

Healing for a survivor of sexual trauma begins with finding an enlightened witness to help you deal with your destructive coping mechanisms that stem from the abuse. Then, the underlying issues must be addressed: personality disorders, splitting, toxic shame, anger, depression, anxiety, and PTSD. The threads on this board will help you learn how to do this. The most common theme of my work with survivors is the SHAME they feel because they blame themselves. Our inner child blames themselves for everything that has happened. Or they do the opposite and recognize that they are a victim but get addicted to a victim mentality. The key to healing is to own what happened, process your pain, but not to live the rest of your life with the legacy of what happened.

Literature for Abuse Survivors

The Courage to Heal by Laura Davis.

Healing Sexual Trauma Workbook: Somatic Skills to Help You Feel Safe in Your Body, Create Boundaries, and Live with Resilience
by Erika Shershun MFT

The Sexual Healing Journey: A Guide for Survivors of Sexual Abuse, 3rd Edition
by Wendy Maltz

The Sexual Trauma Workbook for Teen Girls: A Guide to Recovery from Sexual Assault and Abuse (Instant Help Books for Teens)

What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma
by Stephanie Foo and Random House Audio