A Woman's Travail

April 13, 2024

Dear Shirley:

Talking with you was very therapeutic for me today. You are really on your way to being an excellent therapist. I think I need one right now.

I have decided to process my pain about my abortion with a Catholic Group who understands.

I need someone to understand that I really did kill my baby and not tell me it was "just a fetus." Catholics understand this and I have been forgiven by God for what I did. But I am now processing the effects of what I did by accepting my remorse as eternal. Catholics understand this. I am signing up for a Catholic Retreat.

My baby was conceived around 1984. I already had two children as a single parent. My baby was a boy. I named him Edward Charles Peabody after my brother. He would be the next generation of Peabody's going back to 1648. His father came from a rich family and would probably be taking care of me right now. LOL. Right now, his soul is in heaven with Jesus Christ.

My remorse is so heavy sometimes that is it physically painful. But when you sin, you pay the price. Healing will come eventually, I am sure.

A Woman's Travail

When my baby died his soul went up to heaven and was adopted by Jesus and he is with him now. All the guardian angels watch over him and by the time I arrive, if I am accepted into Heaven, my boy will be a man. Because he was not born, he was sinless, not even original sin. He was perfect and spent a few weeks on earth in my body. We bonded even though I did not know it at the time. But when I woke up from the procedure I was crying. All the feminist rhetoric was gone, and I knew what I had done.

God has forgiven me. My penance is the eternal remorse which I will learn to live with for the rest of my life. We all have regrets. This is my biggest. I know God loves me as well as my baby and the son Karl who I did raise, and the daughter Kathy that he took home ten years ago after taking her first born Jasmyne.

This experience is a woman's travail that men will never truly understand.