Befriending the Shadow

The Shadow is the part of our personality that we do not like and can only see when we project it on to others. We will know we are projecting our Shadow when our feelings are very intense.

Years ago, I attended a workshop held by David Richo entitled, "Befriending the Shadow." This is a way of learning to accept and love ourselves.

I was not ready to accept this at the time because my Inner Child thought I had to be perfect to be lovable. So, I rejected my Shadow which is my rage. I call my Shadow Gretchen. I let my Inner Critic take over.

Recently, I have changed my mind. I was reading some scripture about St. Paul who wanted to be perfect to please God. He called his Shadow the "thorn in his flesh." God basically said no. He said, "I am perfect, and you are not."

I have been working very hard on my shortcomings since I got sober in 1982. Still, my shadow still exists. She comes out less often, and is less intense, but she is still there.

So, today I decided to accept this and befriend her. I feel as if a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I feel my recovery.