Why We Reject Validation

Remember, our self-esteem is rooted in how parents are feel about us. Even if they are behaviorally perfect parents, a child picks up on a parent's depression, anger, frustration, fatigue, attention, avoidance, etc. The child then blames herself. I call this "mom sad; me bad." Once this happens, all the validation in the world doesn't get in. We reject the validation because it does not reconcile with the initial lack of self-worth.

From C.T. Wow. This hit me like a ton of bricks this morning. At this point, it wouldn't matter if a woman really did love me or validate me, because I couldn't feel it anyway. Wow. I need to think on this.

Maya Angelou said all kids want is for you to light up when they enter the room. Eye contact is essential. Strokes for the kids and smiles, even if you have to "fake it to make it," as they say in AA.