Post by Susan Peabody on May 18, 2024 17:00:39 GMT -8
Emotional Intelligence, also known as maturity, self-actualization, adulthood, etc., is probably one of the most profound books I have ever read. By helping me understand what was going on in my brain, I was able to forgive myself for things I had done in the past. This dissipated my toxic shame. In other words, the lack of emotional intelligence is a form of mental illness which is not our fault.
Goleman explains the relationship between the part of the brain called the amygdala which is where our self-control comes from. When the amygdala is not working correctly, we are impulsive and lack self-control. This leads to an addictive personality (Nakken) which underlies all love addiction.
Emotional Intelligence
Psychology Today
Emotional intelligence refers to the ability to identify and manage one’s own emotions, as well as the emotions of others. Emotional intelligence is generally said to include a few skills: namely emotional awareness, or the ability to identify and name one’s own emotions; the ability to harness those emotions and apply them to tasks like thinking and problem solving; and the ability to manage emotions, which includes both regulating one’s own emotions when necessary and helping others to do the same.
The theory of emotional intelligence was introduced by Peter Salovey and John D. Mayer in the 1990s, and further developed and brought to the lay public by Daniel Goleman. The concept, also known as emotional quotient or EQ, has gained wide acceptance. However, some psychologists argue that because EQ cannot be captured via psychometric tests (as can, for example, general intelligence), it lacks true explanatory power.
How self-aware is an emotionally intelligent person? The emotionally intelligent are highly conscious of their own emotional states, even negative ones—from frustration or sadness to something more subtle. They are able to identify and understand what they are feeling, and being able to name an emotion helps manage that emotion. Because of this, the emotionally intelligent have high self-confidence and are realistic about themselves.
Do the emotionally intelligent have a better handle on self-regulation? A person high in EQ is not impulsive or hasty with their actions. They think before they do. This translates into steady emotion regulation, or the ability to reduce how intense an emotion feels. Taking anger or anxiety down a notch is called down-regulation. The emotionally intelligent are able to shift gears and lighten mood, both internally and externally.
Are the emotionally intelligent tuned into the emotions of others?
Are the emotionally intelligent more empathic?
Is emotional intelligence a valid construct?
How to Cultivate Emotional Intelligence
We are naturally drawn to a person with high EQ. We are comfortable and at ease with their easy rapport. It feels as though they can read social cues with superhuman ability. Perhaps they can even mind-read how other people feel to some extent. This effortlessness is welcome in all domains of life—at home, in social settings, and at work. Who wouldn’t want a boss who understood how you are feeling and what you are trying to accomplish?
Can I learn to be more emotionally intelligent? Yes, you can. You can start by learning to identify the emotions you are feeling as well as understanding them. If you are able to name the emotion you are feeling, you have a better chance of understanding what you are feeling. You can also learn to better regulate your emotions just by stopping and thinking before you act and judge. These skills will help you martial inner resolve and stick to what really matters in life.