Erotomania

The term love addiction is a self-help term introduced by Stanton Peele, Howard Halpern, Susan Peabody, Brenda Schaeffer, and Pia Mellody. Most psychologists do not use this term terms but refer to terms found in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. In the DSM IV one of the terms for love addict is erotomania.

Erotomania, also known as de Clérambault's syndrome is a relatively uncommon paranoid condition that is characterized by an individual's delusions of another person being infatuated with them. It is listed in the DSM-5 as a subtype of a delusional disorder. Commonly, the onset of erotomania is sudden, and the course is chronic.

This disorder is most often seen (though not exclusively) in female patients who are shy, dependent, and sexually inexperienced. The object of the delusion is typically a male who is unattainable due to high social or financial status, marriage, or lack of interest. The object of obsession may also be imaginary, deceased, or someone the patient has never met. Delusions of reference are common, as the erotomaniac individual often perceives that they are being sent messages from the secret admirer through innocuous events such as seeing license plates from specific regions.

Symptoms

The core symptom of erotomania is that the individual holds an unshakable belief that another person is secretly in love with them.

They may also experience other types of delusions such as delusions, wherein the perceived admirer secretly communicates their love by subtle methods such as body posture, arrangement of household objects, colors, numbers, license plates on cars from specific states and other seemingly innocuous acts—or, if the person is a public figure, through clues in the media such as coded social media posts and meaningful clothing choices.

Cause

Erotomania may present as a primary mental disorder, or as a symptom of another psychiatric illness such as borderline personality disorder delusions, bipolar disorder or schizophrenia. Symptoms may also be precipitated by alcoholism, substance abuse (including cannabis use) and the use of antidepressants. There may be a potential genetic component involved as family histories of first-degree relatives (parents, siblings) with histories of psychiatric disorders and/or dementia are common.

The disorder also has behavioral similarities to mood swings, poor judgement, confusion, hallucinations. Sigmund Freud explained erotomania as a defense mechanism. Similarly, it has been explained as a way to cope with severe loneliness or ego deficit following a major loss. Erotomania may also be linked to unsatiated sexual urges do to sexual molestation. Some research shows brain abnormalities occurring in patients with erotomania such as heightened temporal lobe asymmetry and greater volumes of lateral ventricles than those with no mental disorders.

Personal Experience

My first obsession was in the sixth grade and every year after that until I was in high school. This was when I become obsessed with David Strand. The obsession lasted until I met him at my 20-year high school reunion. At that time, we dated, and I realized he was not the man I had been in love with all those years. My obsession was based entirely on projection. In my diary I write about how I knew "he really loved me but was just shy." After six months of dating, I realized what was going on, after reading Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood and I left David who was now an alcoholic and drug addict. It was my first victory in recovery.

Media

There are a lot of movies about erotomania, but the one that is based on the DSM V is Fatal Attraction with Glen Close. She researched her part carefully and does a great job playing the role of a woman with borderline personality anger combined with erotomania. This movie is fiction, but if you read the newspapers, you will see this happens all the time. See my article, "Crimes of the Heart" in the recovery section of this message board.