Charity & Codependency

Origins

Codependent charity often arises out of fear, guilt or obligation. Charity born of genuine kindness comes from a full heart—my cup runneth over.

Balance

Codependent charity is exclusive to there is none left over for ourselves. The Bible makes it clear that you shall love others as yourself. There is also the old saying that charity begins at home.

Anonymity

Codependent charity wants recognition. Charity born of a pure heart manifests itself in an atmosphere of shyness and begs for secrecy.

Reciprocity

Codependent charity always has strings attached. (Will you like me if I am kind to you? Will you thank me? Will you return the favor when I need help?) Charity born of kindness desires no personal payback.

Impact

Recipients of codependent charity often feel guilty and bite the hand that feeds them. They sense the dishonesty of the giver or at least the hidden agenda. They feel controlled. On the other hand, those who receive charity born of the real desire to help sense the purity and love from whence it flows. Thus, they are not resentful, and they do not feel obligated. They, along with the giver, have a feeling of completion and wholeness. Intimacy is achieved between two human beings which has a wonderful sense of authenticity.

Passing it On

Recipients of codependent charity want to hoard the gift. How can I get more, they ask? Charity born of kindness creates a desire in the receiver to pass it on. “Freely, freely you have received. Freely, freely give.

The Fishes and the Loaves

Charity from a pure heart creates abundance. Only part of the gift goes to the immediate receiver. The rest goes out into the universe. It floats around and fills the world with love. In this form, it protects the world from toxic.

Of course, there is always a fine line between codependent love and love born of kindness and a pure heart. This is because we are human. We are not perfect, and God only flows through us. But as one surrenders to a spiritual life, the fruit of the spirit will be uncontaminated, and it will truly feed the hungry people of the world. Like the water that does make us thirst again, the hunger satisfied by true service is everlasting. And, of course, spurious love is better than no love at all. Sometimes we have to feed the body any food available, before we can save the soul.