Physical Attraction

Attraction for most people refers to sexual attraction or passion. It is the reason people begin dating after meeting.

It is the reason people pick one suitor over another. It is the reason people marry, and, unfortunately, it is the most common reason people have affairs and get divorced.

At some point we started believing that nothing felt as good as the chemistry of romantic love and nothing else mattered as long as you were in love. Unfortunately, the chemistry of love releases chemicals that can be overpowering, and blind us to thigns that are also important. For many people it is also addictive.

Today, this pursuit of happiness through passion and romantic love is epidemic. I hear from men and women all the time that when it comes to dating someone emotionally mature there is “something missing” if or there is not enough attraction.

This trend is so powerful, that I have found it almost impossible to reverse it when I am working with one of my clients. It seems to take getting older or finally getting tired of the old dance to get my students to put passion further down on their list of priorities. I don’t even try anymore to change their thinking because I get accused of being against romantic love.

At the same time, I cannot remain mute on the subject. Not when I see the mad pursuit of passion bring so much misery to young people today.

Let me end, by stating that I do not advocate the loss of passion, just the minimization of something that is so addictive.

Everyone has to make the choice for themselves. But is also possible for one to base attraction on other things like personality, loyalty, compatibility, etc.