Easily Influenced

Most people are susceptible, gullible, or easily influenced by something. The less you know about your own personal values, the easier you are influenced by something that feels good and is a coping mechanism.

When I was a teenager, I was very susceptible to romantic books, movies, and songs. It took years of recovery, and a lot of self-esteem. to break away from the effects of the media on me. They all lied to me. They promised love at first sight and eternal love. Neither of these really exist.

When I started recovery, I stopped listening to love songs. Instead, I listened to hymns or love songs to my Higher Power. This really influenced me, and my love for God grew while my obsession of romantic love faded.

A few months ago, for some unknow reason, I started listening to love songs again from the 1940's. Nat King Cole, Johhny Matthis, Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra etc. After two weeks I started thinking less about God and more about finding a man. I am a widow, and another marriage is not out of the question, but I don't want to be a love addict again, falling in love with every man I meet or even a married man. I also want to avoid fantasizing about love all the time and feeling deprived without a man.

So, I have come to the conclusion that I am still overly influenced by the media which trigger my fantasies and desires from when I was a teenager. So, I am going to give up these influences the way I gave up alcohol.