talking to others about recovery

I always felt guilty about sharing too much. I learned to feel guilty talking about "private" things from my mom. It was her way of trying to stop me from sharing the family secrets. Since then, whenever I ended a long conversation with a virtual stranger I would feel guilty. I had probably told them everything I could possibly tell them about myself, nothing vital or important you know like, I'm being abused or I'm scared out of my mind, just everything else I could think of. I guess I thought that sharing would somehow transcend the isolation that was imposed on me. I was outright not allowed to have friends. My parents repeated at least once weekly stating if I wanted friends, they were the ones for me to turn to, of course they never had time to pay attention to me when I did turn to them. But I would get in trouble if they saw me talking with someone else or getting a phone call. They felt threatened I know now. Well, the long and short of it is, I feel I overshare. I fight the guilt whenever I get talking to a virtual stranger and spill out all my beans. Of course still not detailing my childhood abuse or my 'labels' as a codependent love addict or anything else, but I'd tell them of my past abusive marriages and present day injustices. Learning I was isolated, but thinking it was completely normal, I made a conscious effort to have someone to call friend. I picked out all the people in my life who had been around at least a year and I kept a lookout for people I clicked with. Now I have a handful of people that I speak to on a deep basis. Two of them I talk to about my recovery pretty regularly. One of the two is in denial about her situation so when I speak to her about recovery she has to work hard not to take it as a covert lecture. The other has been on the outside looking in on my family dysfunction for a long time. She is the only one that I don't feel like I'm covertly lecturing or that I'm being judged. But as she has opened up to share her own problems I am starting to feel some guilt as I talk to her about my recovery. The emotional incest my father committed against me has me stuck where I'm struggling to be a good listener to my adulthood friends and I'm struggling to 'feel' like friends, like equals, when we talk to each other about our problems. Up until now its either been, I'm superior for you bringing your problems to me, or you're superior for me bringing my problems to you. Always a counselor/client role, never an equal footed friendship. There are a lot of things mixed into how I feel about sharing. But basically, an inability to control my sharing and shame about that inability. Thanks for letting me share.