Post by perfectday on Mar 22, 2010 13:52:34 GMT -8
I think this is so apt, Newborn. This whole episode of my life has been my Dark Night of the Soul, but something wonderful is springing from it.
I've gone back to voluntary work, which is great as it keeps me busy and we have fun at the same time, but coming home to a silent and empty house has been a bit of a shocker. It all comes rushing back: the realisation that there is no drug to be had, no fix that will work, only me.
I think the quality of LAs aloneness is different to that of folk without it, and that's what makes this extra hard. We're dealing with the 'abandoned' aloneness, which makes it a greater challenge. I am learning to love it though, because it gives me time and space to experience and refine that new spirituality. I now know there's so much to be gained from living this way. I would be loathe to give up my solitude now, to be honest. There is such depth to it. It's like being stripped bare of all the rubbish you've been carrying around so that you can see reality.
I've gone back to voluntary work, which is great as it keeps me busy and we have fun at the same time, but coming home to a silent and empty house has been a bit of a shocker. It all comes rushing back: the realisation that there is no drug to be had, no fix that will work, only me.
I think the quality of LAs aloneness is different to that of folk without it, and that's what makes this extra hard. We're dealing with the 'abandoned' aloneness, which makes it a greater challenge. I am learning to love it though, because it gives me time and space to experience and refine that new spirituality. I now know there's so much to be gained from living this way. I would be loathe to give up my solitude now, to be honest. There is such depth to it. It's like being stripped bare of all the rubbish you've been carrying around so that you can see reality.