As I read this artical... I nodded in agreement more times than not with the description of what it is like to be co dependent.
I am the classic Type A, overachiever that is fuel by the need to be "good enough" and worthy of respect,kindness, love and acceptance.
"Identify with others in your group and begin to know yourself. The more you learn about this disease, the more you will see how it creeps into every aspect of your life, and how destructive it can be. Listening to others, and identifying with them can help you recognize yourself and understand yourself better. These are the first steps toward accepting and loving yourself, and setting higher standards, more appropriate goals."
This statement was one worth noting... it is why I am here.
Post by lessthanicanbe on Oct 17, 2010 6:31:20 GMT -8
Thanks for the link....I identified with so many aspects of the article. It is a constant struggle for me to not have to fix things for others. I have a hard time deciding where that line is....helping, and fixing? Anyone have a good definition for that line?
I strive to maintain my own identity, and not the assumption of others. Ahhh, who am I kidding. Today I am just worn out! I am giving myself a break from figuring myself out today!!
By being drawn to people with problems that need fixing, or by being enmeshed in situations that are chaotic, uncertain and emotionally painful, they avoid focusing on their responsibility to themselves.
I think the more important issue we need to understand -> why ?
Help or fix...it will always seem like to OK thing....and when were done: - If we 'feel' about the same as just before the opportunity to help / fix arrived, then we're doing OK. - if we feel liie a Hero ! like we're Worth Something ! then were not so OK
The sign of thanks the other person shared ( a smile, a word, a hug) - if it feels OK, then we're OK - if it sends our heart & mind into outer space, we're not so OK
If the help / fix action allows you to feel liike a Hero ! and the thanks action spins you up, then we're still in need of recovery work...becasue we've the dicovered the "why" : we need someone else to provide our sense of worth.