Post by nlala on Sept 14, 2010 7:44:31 GMT -8
I have been reading posts. I'm a fairly new member and I thought I was a torchbearer but now I'm not sure. I have know my current POA for almost 3 years, does that qualify me. by the way I think I'm licking this addiction to him, I'm able to talk myself out of giving in to his pings so I think that means I healing. But not sure if I'm a torchbearer or just an obsessed person? Since joining this group maybe 2 years ago, I haven't been doing much posting or reading, got busy trying to get a job, but I plan to be more active now so I can cure myself of this and finally attract a healthy relationship. I'm 45 and I just need to do something different, you know what I mean, I want to stop being stuck on naive. LOL 
Thanks for your help.
Oh yeah I just remembered something I shoud share. My POA called me one night(a few months ago) and asked if I wanted to come over, now mind you I have never been to his house and that is one of my biggest complaints to him, "If you're really into me how come I can't come to your house" is what I would say to him. Anyway, I said yes, then he texted me to say he had to go pick up his son and drive him to camp, the bus driver let him off at the wrong stop so he had to go take him the rest of the way to the camp. OK, can't argue about someones children. then didn't hear from him in a while. then I needed help moving and had no funds to hire movers, so I asked basically everyone I knew for help. He said he would help, then never showed up, of course what else should I expect from him. so thank my HP I have some caring people in my life who did come through and I'm all moved in now. So he starts texting me again asking me if I still want to have a baby, I say yes, then of course all this is leading up to him coming over for sex. Can you believe he would actually lie about wanting a baby just to get sex?? I still can't believe these people I meet. Anyway, I said you do not want a baby, you come over once a month and you think I really believe that you're trying to get me pregnant. He said ok I will come 2 days in a row, unbelievable right? IS HE SERIOUS? I told him I would let him know, then oh yeah I remember he still owes me money for some typing work I did, now mind you I am struggling financially and he has his own business, so you would think he is making good money and according to one of the documents I typed for him he makes $90,000 a year, but yet he can't pay me $250, but he cares about me right?? ha, and what really is even crazier is that he actually expect me to believe him. And what's even crazier is I still desire him OMG!! I can't even believe myself. I didn't act on it though, so I'm proud of myself, I was able to think about what is best for me and not give in to the crazy feelings of desire for someone who soo obviously doesn't care one bit about me, but what is soo sick about him that he would be soo obvious and still act as if I'm supposed to trust him. I really don't get it. I know were not supposed to be focusing on the POA, he is the only one that can fix him, but I can't help but wonder, inquisitive minds want to know.
I think I should post this in success stories.
Thanks for your help.
Oh yeah I just remembered something I shoud share. My POA called me one night(a few months ago) and asked if I wanted to come over, now mind you I have never been to his house and that is one of my biggest complaints to him, "If you're really into me how come I can't come to your house" is what I would say to him. Anyway, I said yes, then he texted me to say he had to go pick up his son and drive him to camp, the bus driver let him off at the wrong stop so he had to go take him the rest of the way to the camp. OK, can't argue about someones children. then didn't hear from him in a while. then I needed help moving and had no funds to hire movers, so I asked basically everyone I knew for help. He said he would help, then never showed up, of course what else should I expect from him. so thank my HP I have some caring people in my life who did come through and I'm all moved in now. So he starts texting me again asking me if I still want to have a baby, I say yes, then of course all this is leading up to him coming over for sex. Can you believe he would actually lie about wanting a baby just to get sex?? I still can't believe these people I meet. Anyway, I said you do not want a baby, you come over once a month and you think I really believe that you're trying to get me pregnant. He said ok I will come 2 days in a row, unbelievable right? IS HE SERIOUS? I told him I would let him know, then oh yeah I remember he still owes me money for some typing work I did, now mind you I am struggling financially and he has his own business, so you would think he is making good money and according to one of the documents I typed for him he makes $90,000 a year, but yet he can't pay me $250, but he cares about me right?? ha, and what really is even crazier is that he actually expect me to believe him. And what's even crazier is I still desire him OMG!! I can't even believe myself. I didn't act on it though, so I'm proud of myself, I was able to think about what is best for me and not give in to the crazy feelings of desire for someone who soo obviously doesn't care one bit about me, but what is soo sick about him that he would be soo obvious and still act as if I'm supposed to trust him. I really don't get it. I know were not supposed to be focusing on the POA, he is the only one that can fix him, but I can't help but wonder, inquisitive minds want to know.
I think I should post this in success stories.