Post by saggie on Oct 7, 2010 12:14:03 GMT -8
Prettywingz,
I feel that way too all the time with my husband. I`m baffled as to why he still loves me when I don`t meet any of his needs.
Yes I plan on leaving him because after three years of trying to love him again, I have hit a brick wall. I don`t think it`s fair on either one of us to be in a relationship where both of our needs are not being fully met.
As for not letting people walk over me, I put that down to high self-esteem. I don`t have overly-high self esteem, but it`s not low either. For me, my self esteem comes from the fact that, ever since I was young, I did very well in school. I was always...always at the top of my class, still am(I`m a straight A student at my college), and that made me feel like I was worthy.
Knowing how to do something well can be a great boost to self-esteem.
The other thing that contributed, was the fact that I knew I was a good person who would make someone a great friend or partner/boyfriend, and that belief was re-enforced many times by former boyfriends and friends.
I think if you concentrate on the things that you excel at, or things that make you feel you are a good catch, that eventually may boost your self esteem, and you won`t care that someone might walk away from you or would be hurt if you don`t bend over backwards for them.
If you feel you are worthy, then you will demand to be treated with as much respect and care as you think you deserve, and if that person doesn`t like that, tough!
That`s why I`m still baffled by my husband`s contentment with the way things are. If it was me being treated the way I treat him, I would have left on the second day. My friends are always baffled at the fact that with all the men I have been involved with, not one has ever disrespected me, because I just don`t put up with it.
Right now I`m in the process of walking away from both my husband and my POA, because neither are giving me what I feel I need. Maybe no one can. And that`s something I have to come to grips with.
I feel that way too all the time with my husband. I`m baffled as to why he still loves me when I don`t meet any of his needs.
Yes I plan on leaving him because after three years of trying to love him again, I have hit a brick wall. I don`t think it`s fair on either one of us to be in a relationship where both of our needs are not being fully met.
As for not letting people walk over me, I put that down to high self-esteem. I don`t have overly-high self esteem, but it`s not low either. For me, my self esteem comes from the fact that, ever since I was young, I did very well in school. I was always...always at the top of my class, still am(I`m a straight A student at my college), and that made me feel like I was worthy.
Knowing how to do something well can be a great boost to self-esteem.
The other thing that contributed, was the fact that I knew I was a good person who would make someone a great friend or partner/boyfriend, and that belief was re-enforced many times by former boyfriends and friends.
I think if you concentrate on the things that you excel at, or things that make you feel you are a good catch, that eventually may boost your self esteem, and you won`t care that someone might walk away from you or would be hurt if you don`t bend over backwards for them.
If you feel you are worthy, then you will demand to be treated with as much respect and care as you think you deserve, and if that person doesn`t like that, tough!
That`s why I`m still baffled by my husband`s contentment with the way things are. If it was me being treated the way I treat him, I would have left on the second day. My friends are always baffled at the fact that with all the men I have been involved with, not one has ever disrespected me, because I just don`t put up with it.
Right now I`m in the process of walking away from both my husband and my POA, because neither are giving me what I feel I need. Maybe no one can. And that`s something I have to come to grips with.