Post by startingnew on Nov 19, 2010 5:13:11 GMT -8
Hello everyone, I am trying to find out exactly what a spouses role is in an addicts recovery?being on the other side of it and not having much communication, I feel as though all of my attempts are causing my wife to move further away from me. I love my wife and family more than life itself and want to be there for her, but she isnt ready to come to me just yet. From a person that has love addiction, what would you say would be the best thing your spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend etc. could have done to be supportive and helpful? Any help would be greatly appreciated.
The word "attempts", to me, sounds more like trying to convince, change, correct, calibrate someone else . . .that is not support . . .
If, and whenever, the W decides she wants out with the other AND she wants to be with with you . . . . . .and you still want her . . . then the support is in the form of forgiveness . . .
I do not beleive in "forgive and forget"; once I have an experience (brought on by me or someone else) it is in the 'mental photograph album' forever...it is my choice to not lookj at that page, howerver . . .but the photo is always there.... But I do 'forgive' . .I too am human, and subject to the same foibles as anyone else...to not forgive would be hypocritical (well, that's how I am...)