Post by lacypooh on Nov 20, 2010 12:43:47 GMT -8
I've been dealing with some heavy issues lately, for one that new job that i was so excited for turned out to be a direct sales company tricking people into thinking they had a job, when all we were doing were selling their product for them while they got the big pay off, example I sold over $400 worth of product in one day and was piad $75 as a bonus. That $75 would be my pay for the entire week, unless i went out & sold another $400 worth to get another "bonus" of $75. I'm not big on sales, but I did what i had to do, I worked very hard, driving around town all day, asking strangers to buy from me, just to come to work the next day to sign a form that says I'm not an employee, but a volunteer, OH HELL NO! So I'm back to the job search, hardcore, which sucks because my family is also struggling financially and everyone's spirits are down.
The good thing about that "job" was it did push me out of my comfort zone, so I will take that with me and know that I can push myself. But then there has just been so much going wrong, seems like nothing is going right, BUTthe good news here is that I haven't gone to a man for my emotional support or strength during these hard times. In a healthy relationship/friendship i know it's ok to go to friends & significant other for moral support, but I realize I don't have anyone like that yet, so I haven't used these situations to try to get the emotionally unavailable men that i know to give me a "hit" of their emotional support( although i have been so tempted!!!). I have turned to my HP, leaning fully on him . My mind is so much more clearer now. For the first time I can see two paths in front of me, one where i'm trying to show a man why he should love me, depend on him for comfort, dpend on him for love or the other where i can face the storms of life on my own & with people who ARE there for me. The point is I now have a choice, i can see the choice, co-dependency is losing it's grip on me, for that, I am greatful.
The good thing about that "job" was it did push me out of my comfort zone, so I will take that with me and know that I can push myself. But then there has just been so much going wrong, seems like nothing is going right, BUTthe good news here is that I haven't gone to a man for my emotional support or strength during these hard times. In a healthy relationship/friendship i know it's ok to go to friends & significant other for moral support, but I realize I don't have anyone like that yet, so I haven't used these situations to try to get the emotionally unavailable men that i know to give me a "hit" of their emotional support( although i have been so tempted!!!). I have turned to my HP, leaning fully on him . My mind is so much more clearer now. For the first time I can see two paths in front of me, one where i'm trying to show a man why he should love me, depend on him for comfort, dpend on him for love or the other where i can face the storms of life on my own & with people who ARE there for me. The point is I now have a choice, i can see the choice, co-dependency is losing it's grip on me, for that, I am greatful.