Post by emilywebb on May 24, 2011 7:01:04 GMT -8
...or is this going to be my life?
I'm new to the forum and I posted on the newbie thread. I'm a torchbearer and I've been bearing a torch for someone for the past 2.5 years. This isn't the first time I've had a "crush" on someone that hasn't come to fruition. This has just been my life. I don't know what do or where to go from here at all. I have crushes on people that last for three or four years and then they really only go away if I start liking someone else. This just started because of a dream I had about a former love interest. This has been my life ever since: anxiety, depression. I've cyberstalked him and his ex gf. I stopped cyberstalking his ex gf because she moved 2500 miles away from him and she has a new boyfriend. I was kind of obsessed with her, too...like the hatred I felt for her was like an obsession. I made a bunch of Facebook pages mocking her and calling her names like "b*tch" and "wh*re" and I said she had herpes. I made these pages and friended all of her friends, and I thought it was funny. I sent her anonymous nasty messages, too. That was a year ago. This was due to my jealousy over this guy. Anyway, I heard from him after pestering him with emails and even a letter, and he told me he "wasted" five years of his life on her wanting unconditional love and attention from her when he gave the same to her. Maybe he's one too, lol.
This is the first time during a "crush" that I've looked into love addiction, and it's the first time I realized that I was an emotional eater. I gained about 40 pounds over the last three years and I'm trying to lose it. My emotional eating has gotten better because I realized that's what I was doing.
I've tried talking to friends about my obsession with this guy and they got angry with me about it and didn't understand. I didn't understand myself just what was wrong with me.
I'm sick and I don't know what to do. I feel like I shouldn't bother meeting people because I figure that there's no point. I will like people who don't like me back and will attract the attention of people I don't want to go out with. I feel like I should just give up and forget the whole thing and settle for someone I don't like all that much "in that way."
I need help and I can't afford therapy. I've gone to two therapists in the past three years and they were well-intentioned, but they didn't mention love addiction to me. One was just judgmental and I stopped going to her.
I had contact from this guy in April, but I haven't heard from him since. I have to resist the urge to try to contact him. He's going to think I'm crazy and obsessed with him and that there's something wrong with me. I compare myself to his ex all the time and tell myself that she's prettier and better and just...better than me.
I want to get better, but I don't see a way out.
I'm new to the forum and I posted on the newbie thread. I'm a torchbearer and I've been bearing a torch for someone for the past 2.5 years. This isn't the first time I've had a "crush" on someone that hasn't come to fruition. This has just been my life. I don't know what do or where to go from here at all. I have crushes on people that last for three or four years and then they really only go away if I start liking someone else. This just started because of a dream I had about a former love interest. This has been my life ever since: anxiety, depression. I've cyberstalked him and his ex gf. I stopped cyberstalking his ex gf because she moved 2500 miles away from him and she has a new boyfriend. I was kind of obsessed with her, too...like the hatred I felt for her was like an obsession. I made a bunch of Facebook pages mocking her and calling her names like "b*tch" and "wh*re" and I said she had herpes. I made these pages and friended all of her friends, and I thought it was funny. I sent her anonymous nasty messages, too. That was a year ago. This was due to my jealousy over this guy. Anyway, I heard from him after pestering him with emails and even a letter, and he told me he "wasted" five years of his life on her wanting unconditional love and attention from her when he gave the same to her. Maybe he's one too, lol.
This is the first time during a "crush" that I've looked into love addiction, and it's the first time I realized that I was an emotional eater. I gained about 40 pounds over the last three years and I'm trying to lose it. My emotional eating has gotten better because I realized that's what I was doing.
I've tried talking to friends about my obsession with this guy and they got angry with me about it and didn't understand. I didn't understand myself just what was wrong with me.
I'm sick and I don't know what to do. I feel like I shouldn't bother meeting people because I figure that there's no point. I will like people who don't like me back and will attract the attention of people I don't want to go out with. I feel like I should just give up and forget the whole thing and settle for someone I don't like all that much "in that way."
I need help and I can't afford therapy. I've gone to two therapists in the past three years and they were well-intentioned, but they didn't mention love addiction to me. One was just judgmental and I stopped going to her.
I had contact from this guy in April, but I haven't heard from him since. I have to resist the urge to try to contact him. He's going to think I'm crazy and obsessed with him and that there's something wrong with me. I compare myself to his ex all the time and tell myself that she's prettier and better and just...better than me.
I want to get better, but I don't see a way out.
, but now I can enter here and my obsession of knowing what is going on with them, gets lower.