Fathers & Imagos

My father's death is what brought me into recovery. The day he died, I transferred all my love for him to Barry Morgan. Barry, like my dad, was unavailable and so I was obsessed with getting him to change his mind and marry me. As we know from the Oedipus Dilemma, young girls always want to marry their fathers and thus they compete with their mothers for his attention. This puts a wedge between mothers and daughters that sometimes never heals. In recovery, we must let go of our Imago (father stand-in) and find an available, kind, mature and compatible person. "We must move on to recover." (The Art of Changing.) Until that happens, let God be the love of our life. He is more stable and never leaves us.

If you are unhappy with your biological father, or he has passed on, or he is missing in action, remember that you have a heavenly father who will love you, comfort you, and guide you to a life that is "happy, joyous, and free. Turn to him in your hour of need. This is the secret to long-lasting recovery from the slings and arrows of this life on earth.